Welcome to our weekly look inside the collective of Timbers Army Football Clubs.  If you have any interest in the weekly happenings or upcoming fixture dates, you can always visit the Timbers Army main page. Under the 107ist menu, click on the Timbers Army FC link and you’ll see the main page.  This lists the current clubs that are playing, plus lists those that will be joining the happy family soon.  Here’s a recap by club of current events.

101^st FC submitted match reports for their last two matches, a loss to Trick Pony with a large number on one side followed up by a thrilling 9 to 8 win over Grant Old Boyz.  The 101^st FC was struggling with a long layoff in the schedule similar to some of their outdoor brethren, but they mounted a wild comeback to get a win for the week.  They have their final fixture on May 3 versus Urban Honking FC in a late Sunday evening match.

We didn’t receive a report from AC Loco Moco on their matchup with Fridjes Refritos, so either they had a good match or those puppets from TeamAmerica finally got to them.  They also get a bit of a break in their fixtures, as they next play on May 5 at Portland Indoor Soccer. We hope to hear more from our indoor club next week in revisiting both matches.

Cascade Rangers FC had another TAFC derby on their schedule as they met up with Rose City Athletic at the now infamous Old Oregon City High School pitch.  We didn’t get a report from Jerry to give the CRFC perspective, but Rob from RCA reported a 5 to 0 win for RCA that apparently was much closer than the final score indicated.  The boys in red scored a single goal in the first half despite plenty of pressure, but CRFC showed some improved defense to keep the score at one.  Unfortunately, RCA scored four in the second half behind a hat trick for Ed Ramirez and goals from Bryan Boen and Zack Skinner.  Apparently, both clubs enjoyed some post match pints as a sign of sportsmanship, which was good to hear about.  Cascade Rangers FC face their old foes,South VN, at LaSalle HS in a rare Saturday night match on April 28 while RCA meets the Fiji Islanders at the same location earlier in the day.

Coat? FC finished their Futsal season for Spring with a 7 to 6 win over Calling Dinosaurs FC. I’m sorry that we didn’t get more reports from them about matches, but hope to share more as their adventures continue.  Based upon previous sessions, there could be a second session of matches forthcoming, so look to this page for more details.

Both Division 1 sides, FC Dynamo and FC Portlandia didn’t submit match reports in time for inclusion either, but we did get official scores from the league. FC Dynamo lost a heartbreaker to North End 1 to 0 while FC Portlandia absorbed a 3 to 1 loss to Abysinnia. Both clubs are in action on Saturday at Gladstone HS, as FC Dynamo meets Salsa Azul at 6 PM while FC Portlandia entertains Portland Internationals earlier in the day. We hope to have official recaps for you all with next week’s report.

North End United was unable to complete a report in time either, but they did list their score this week as a 2 to 1 loss to the Fiji Islanders atSynderPark.  While Rueben Wilson logged their only goal, the boys in black were unable to stop the Fijians on this day.  We hope to hear more about this match next time, while NEU prepares for their next match on April 29 at Gladstone HS when they meetBroken Arrow.

Northern Alliance FC met up with Electric Dream Machine at Old Oregon City High School, which apparently is now known as a field of horrors.  This week’s match didn’t feature any delays in the start, and NAFC got some great news that some of their players weren’t as injured as originally thought, but they were also without some key players unexpectedly.  Despite the challenges, NAFC fought to a well earned 3 all draw as Johnathon Davidson scored a brace and Jacob Morr notched a goal. Davidson now leads the team with 3 goals, and hopefully the offensive onslaught continues this weekend as they meet MayDay on April 29 at SnyderPark.

Old Growth FC finally resumed their schedule after a lengthy delay in matches.  After playing in soupy conditions on a rutted pitch, the team was pleased to arrive at LaSalle High School on April 22 under gorgeous conditions and a full compliment of players.  The optimism was tested as their orange clad opponents, Tug and Whistle, put on a dazzling display of give and go soccer that ran OGFC around quite a bit.  Yes, folks, the scoreline wasn’t pretty, but OGFC kept their composure and played well under the circumstances.  They play their next match on April 29 at the field of horrors against FC 77 Hiberian, and recently announced a May 12 scheduled friendly against Cascade Rangers FC at a location to be determined.

Everyone knows that if you want to be Timbers Army, you already are. Many of us are Timbers Army across the United States and beyond, whether with the Timbers Army Texas Rangers, the New York City Loggers, or even if you're an army of one in exile.

We know how much you love the Timbers, and how you'd love to have the opportunity to see them in person for a derby match at JELD WEN field. Well, now's your chance.

If you live outside of Oregon and Washington, you have an opportunity to win a FREE round trip ticket to Portland from anywhere Alaska Airlines or Horizon Air flies for the May 26th match against the Vancouver Whitecaps.

Alaska Airlines has provided eight round trip travel vouchers; any 107IST member who lives outside of Oregon and Washington is invited to enter to win! Eight out-of-town 107IST folks will get FREE round trip airfare from anywhere Alaska Airlines or Horizon Air flies, along with a match ticket in the Timbers Army section. We'll fly you in for the derby match on May 26th against the Vancouver Whitecaps. Accommodations are your responsibility, but if you can get to somewhere Alaska Airlines or Horizon Air flies, we'll get you here for the match and back. NOTE: this contest is open to 107IST members only, and only those who live outside of Oregon and Washington.

Not a 107IST member yet? Well, now's your chance to sign up. Become a part of the engine that drives the Timbers Army, and throw your name in the hat for a chance at a free round trip to Portland!

Click here to sign up or renew today.

Once you are a 107IST member, you are eligible to enter.

Entries are now closed; winners will be drawn May 9th and announced after their ability to use the vouchers and tickets has been confirmed.

Drawing will be held on May 9th. Note that the travel vouchers are good only from departure locations served by Alaska Airlines or Horizon Air.

We know you're Rose City Til You Die, but you shouldn't have to wait that long to actually VISIT the Rose City to cheer on the boys in green. Deadline for all entries is 11:00 PM May 8th. Enter to win today!

—by Andrew Brawley

I’m just gonna start by stating the obvious: I’m not a fan of Montreal. I don’t mean the team. I mean the city. I’ve been there twice, and each time sucked. The closest I’ve ever come to a legit fist-fight was in this town. I’m not sure what the deal is, but Montreal and I are 0 for 2. In fact, I can pretty much do without most of the entire province of Québec. A famous insult comic and I share the same opinion on this issue.

Because of this unfortunate situation, I’ve deferred all input for this travel guide to someone who knows the city well. He’s Canadian. He speaks French (as most Canadians do, thanks to socialist education and dual-language laws). While born in Vancouver, he spent many years (including the formative college ones) back east among the Québécois. Oh yeah, he produced a few records you might’ve heard.

Here’s punk rock producer superstar Steve Kravac’s guide to Montreal.

 

Best dive bar: St-Laurent Bifteck

This is the formerly-punk-rock-now-hipster hangout on what we call “the main,” or St. Laurent Street. Always cheap. Be sure to try a pitcher of the local (not so micro) brew Boreale. It's a mainly English speaking hang.

Best Smoked Meat Sandwiches: Schwartz’s Montreal Hebrew Delicatessen

The smoked meat on rye sandwich is the cornerstone of Montreal dining. Schwartz's deli serves the quintessential version. Celine Dion is buying the place. Hopefully she leaves everything as is and goes back to Vegas.

Best Cheap Breakfast: Dusty’s

Dusty's serves up the amazing breakfast and the fresh squeezed orange juice is awesome. Love the home fries! Perfect to nurse your hangover.

Best Bagel: St-Viateur Bagel

Bagels fresh from a wood fired oven 24 hours a day, 7 days week. What could be better? These may be the best in North America.

The Northern Alliance is putting on a viewing party/fundraiser at Mill Creek Pub in Battle Ground, WA for the May 15th match vs. Houston to benefit youth in Peru. The "Support a Soccer Ball" drive will be supporting fundraising efforts put on by the students at Orchards Elementary in NE Vancouver.

To summarize this March 29th article in the Columbian, the students from Orchards, one of the most impoverished schools in Clark County according to the State, have raised over $1,500 through two penny drives in the past year; this money has gone towards paying a month's rent for a school in Peru, buying books, and helping to feed the Peruvian youths, who often don't have a meal at home after school.

Want to know how to contribute? There are two ways: First, you can support the drive by sponsoring a soccer ball for $10, which will be given to the students at Orchards to send to Peru. Our goal is to sponsor 24 balls. Second, there will be a penny drive held during the viewing. Everybody has extra pennies laying around (heck, I have a ton in my car, where they have absolutely no use!), so why not donate them to a great cause: education and food for needy children. 12 cents will pay for a single meal for these students.

The Northern Alliance invites you to come early and have dinner before the match! Mill Creek Pub offers a 15% discount to 107ist members, and also is providing 15% of sales to the Northern Alliance General Fund, which supports various causes north of the river.

—by Andrew Brawley

It had to happen at some point. In fact, it’s happened before. A one-time Sounders player is suddenly found wearing a Timbers uniform. And vice-versa. While the United States is quite large compared to other soccer-playing nations, when it comes to the number of soccer players actively playing here per capita, it’s a pretty small talent pool to select from. So it was only a matter of time when someone would make the jump between the rival Cascadian cities. If you had money on the Timbers announcing the signing of former Sounders forward Mike Fucito on Friday, April 20, 2012 (via Montreal), congratulations, you’re a confirmed liar!

Reactions on my Twitter timeline ran the gamut: angered, excited, but most of all, confused. Don’t the Timbers already have enough forwards? (Obviously, this question was quickly answered by the soon-after announcement of Eddie Johnson’s retirement…the good one, but that’s another blog entry altogether.) Don’t the Timbers need more help on the back end? For a few hours on a Friday afternoon, Portland’s work production rate plummeted as they scratched their heads, completely distracted from the next day’s match against Sporting Kansas City. (Looking back, the distraction wasn’t completely unwelcomed.)

All of the sudden, both Timbers and Sounders fans found themselves dealing with the way-too-sudden reality of players playing on both teams during their MLS careers. This was one of the few times when both sets of fans were on mostly common ground with respect to dealing with such an ordeal.

NOTE: to the outsiders who might be reading this and thinking it’s completely ridiculous to make such a big deal about players moving between Portland and Seattle, I’d like to introduce you to something called sports. Some of them are even on TV, which you probably don’t even have. Go back to your scholarly journals and let us air this one out!

In order to come to grips with this, we should examine the individual player’s career performance, not just for the opposing team in question, but more specifically, their performance against our own team. Since I’m not the type to spend my free time sifting through sports statistics, I requested the help of local Timbers writer / podcaster Mike Donovan. Here’s what he found:

# of minutes played in MLS competitions: 1,071 (not including 129 playoff minutes)

# of goals scored in MLS competitions: 4

# of minutes played in Open Cup competitions: 193

# of goals scored in Open Cup competitions: 2

# of minutes played in CONCACAF competitions: 397

# of goals scored in CONCACAF competitions: 5

# of minutes played against the Timbers (regardless of MLS / USL / Open Cup, etc.): 0

# of goals scored against the Timbers: 0

# of fouls committed against the Timbers: 0

# of jerkwad goal celebrations in front of / toward the TA: 0

According to Donovan, “Fucito has never played against the Timbers in any official match. He did, however, play 73 minutes last year for the Sounder Reserves vs. the Timbers Reserves at Starfire. He also played 10 minutes in last year's 2-0 Timbers win during the Cascadia Summit. He didn't score or get a card in either appearance."

Not bad on the stats, if I do say so myself. Looks to me like nothing but positives for the Timbers that could also help create negatives for the Sounders down the road. Let’s also examine a few other items of note:

Fucito was a fan favorite in Seattle. They were pissed when Montreal acquired Fucito and Lamar Neagle in exchange for Eddie Johnson (the bad one). Both were considered fan favorites before being shipped off. If Seattle fans were pissed then, they were irate on Friday afternoon when news of Fucito wearing a better shade of green hit the newswire. Seattle's misery is Portland's joy.

Also, as if the two Timbers-Sounders derby matches taking place at JELD-WEN Field in 2012 needed more heat this year, well…they got it. Can you imagine the scene if Fucito scores against his old team? Think about that for a second. Twitter timelines across Portland could be jammed for seconds…nay, dare I say, MINUTES!!

Fucito also attended Harvard University. We like smart people here in Portland (contrary to my statement above about scholarly journals. Apologies.).

Finally, reports came out over the weekend that Seattle couldn’t reach a deal to get Fucito back from Montreal. The way I understand it, the Timbers got Fucito in exchange for either the Timbers’ highest 2^nd round draft pick in 2013, or a 2013 international roster spot, depending on his 2012 performance. Call me crazy, but that looks to me like the Timbers got Fucito on the cheap. Am I to believe that Seattle couldn’t give up at least that much to acquire a fan favorite that would require next to zero time for re-acclimation to the city and the team’s playing style? If I were a Seattle fan (which, according to some people, I am), I would be furious about this part most of all.

This scenario reminds a bit of The Mighty Ducks, where the star player for the evil team of rich kids suddenly found himself playing for the good guys through no fault of his own. Over time, he triumphed over adversity and found his way into hearts of teammates and fans alike.

OK, so it might not be as dramatic as a Disney movie, but I think you see what I’m getting at here. Fucito’s a good player, and is clearly more than able to make solid contributions toward the Timbers’ overall aspirations. I see no valid reason for us to be questioning where his loyalties may lie, especially when his old team didn't pony up for him. He’s now a Timber, and he should be respected and treated as one. Let’s put on the daddy pants and be a big boy about this, mmm-kay?

Now if Levesque ever becomes a Timber (again), all bets are off. Cuz seriously, screw that guy!

Mike Donovan writes for OregonSports.com, and co-hosts No Pity City. He’s also pretty good on Twitter.

This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the 107ist or the TA.

—by Chris Rifer

Midweek John Spencer said he would happily take an ugly three points out of the match against Sporting KC. He got his wish.

On Saturday night the Portland Timbers kicked, scratched, and gouged their way to one of the most significant—if ugliest—wins since promotion to MLS a year ago.

The Timbers opened the match with a nice spell of possession in the first few minutes, but ultimately couldn’t make anything noteworthy of it.

Sporting looked to have what Portland lacked in danger in the final third, as in the 9^th minute C.J. Sapong beat Hanyer Mosquera on the byline, and sent a ball to Kai Kamara 10 yards out from the mouth of the goal. Troy Perkins was perfectly positioned, however, to smother Kamara’s shot and end the danger.

From there the chances were scarce, as the side started kicking the ball—and each other—around the midfield. The Wiz managed to put Troy Perkins to work once, as Graham Zusi sent a nicely placed 23^rd minute set piece toward the far upper 90, but Perkins calmly tapped over the bar.

In a tight match like Saturday, though, 90 minutes of labor can be undone by one moment of fleeting concentration. For once, it wasn’t the Timbers learning that lesson.

After Diego Chara found Kris Boyd on a run down the right wing, the Timbers’ talisman sent a ball to the far post to nobody in particular. As the ball floated through the air, the North End could see Chance Myers and Julio Cesar closing down the ball with no Timber within 10 yards. Surely they were just going to let the ball run through. There was no danger. Instead they converged with each other and the ball at the same time, knocking a harmless cross into the back of their own net.

The defense that had been stalwart for 40 minutes, and would be similarly dominant for 49 more, had suddenly made a mess of things in blooper reel fashion.

Coming out of the half, Portland—for the only time on Saturday night—looked poised to make a run at a second goal. After Darlington Nagbe and Diego Chara played a little give and go down the right side, the little Colombian sent an early ball into the box for Perlaza and Boyd. The ball ran by Perlaza, but Boyd got foot to it, only for Jimmy Neilsen to close down the shot and send it out for a corner.

For nearly 45 minutes, that was the end of the serious chances. Roger Espinoza and Kamara had efforts from distance, but neither seriously troubled the Timbers defense.

Then, in stoppage time, as the Army desperately sang the Timbers through the last ten minutes, the Portland defense looked for a split second like it was going to fumble away another result. A routine play was bobbled in the box, the ball bounded perilously toward the near post, but Hanyer Mosquera was there to clear off the line.

That was the moment for Portland to let this one slip away. And for the first time in 2012, the Timbers survived it.

The result—though aesthetically bankrupt—is of the kind that can turn a season around. For the first month of the 2012 campaign, Portland looked talented, but mentally weak. At times the soccer was beautiful stuff, but at the end of the day the Timbers would let the result slip away.

Not on Saturday. Portland ground out three massive points, and will take some desperately needed confidence on the road to Montreal.

Match Observations

• Where has that been? If Portland had shown a tenth of the grit they showed on Saturday in the matches against RSL, Chivas, New England, and Galaxy, Saturday would have been a matchup between two unbeatens.
• The talk before the match was about an XI that seemed to make no sense. Lovel Palmer started in the center of the midfield, Diego Chara and Darlington Nagbe manned the wings, and Eric Alexander and Franck Songo’o held down the bench. What seemed to be the workings of a madman ended up fitting the game perfectly. It was a lineup designed to ugly up the game by getting physical in the midfield and hoping the attacking talent left on the field could find one moment of magic. The strategy was bold, but it worked on Saturday. That said, never, ever do that again, Spenny.
• Take a look at the table today. Portland still sits in last place in the West on seven points, but is only three points out of fifth and four points out of third. The West is, and will stay, a huddled cluster of a conference. Portland’s bad start dug them a hole, but as the table shows, it’s far from insurmountable. Good results the next two weeks and Portland could very easily find itself sitting in playoff position by the first weekend in May. Now look at the East. Gracious.

Timbers Grades

Troy Perkins, 7 His defense was great in front of him, but Troy’s leadership and positioning kept things organized and kept SKC from making a serious bid at goal. Great save on Kamara early. The only criticism is that Perkins has had a little case of the dropsies in the early stages this year. Hopefully he gets that straightened out before it costs the Timbers a goal.

Mike Chabala, 8 I’m going to have to dust off the archives to find a gutsier performance from a Timber. His ankle was thoroughly messed up. He gimped his way through his halftime fitness test to the point that I was incredulous he was going back in.[1] Then he was very good defensively in the second half. Was his play itself worth an 8? No, probably not. But as supporters we ask the players to bleed for the shirt, and Chewie put in a historic performance in that regard. You can wear your pink pants to your heart’s content this week, Chewie. You’ve earned it. And would somebody buy this guy an appletini or something?

Eric Brunner, 7 Boy, oh boy this guy is happy to see Hanyer Mosquera back. Brunner—and the entire backline—looked light-years better than they have at any time in the season.

Hanyer Mosquera, 8 Mosco got turned around once in the 9^th minute, and it nearly cost Portland. From there he was flawless, including the match-saving clearance in second half stoppage. Gavin hasn’t hit on every foreign discovery, but this one looks like a home run.

Steve Purdy, 5 Purdy was fine, although not a whole lot more than that. Sometimes looked a little bit lost on defense, but the Timbers weren’t really punished for it. A few more crosses coming in from that right side than I would like to see, but overall a passable performance.

Diego Chara, 6.5 When I saw him lined up on the wing, I about blew a gasket. In his forays out wide this year Diego has looked terribly uncomfortable. He seemed to have it figured a little bit on Saturday, as he was typically nifty defensively and much, much better in the attack on the wing.

Lovel Palmer, 5 Okay, so he was fine. He took some maddening touches, but was properly positioned defensively and never screwed the pooch. If this was a situational placement in the lineup for John Spencer, I’ll go along reluctantly. But I can’t for the life of me figure out what Palmer has done to earn a spot in the XI over Eric Alexander or Franck Songo’o.

Jack Jewsbury, 6 It’s been a rough go for Captain Jack early on this season, but he was useful defensively and in disrupting things in the midfield. He looks a little bit more comfortable playing higher in the thick of things rather than sitting at the back of a diamond waiting for the opposing offense to come to him.

Darlington Nagbe, 6 Nice outing for Darlington. Had some nice moments in the first half combining with Jorge Perlaza that, but for a very good Sporting defense, could have led to some good chances.

Jorge Perlaza, 5 Made several good runs, and did some nice things for the offense, but clearly has no confidence going toward goal right now. He had a few opportunities to pull the trigger, but Jorge simply refused. I still think he’s getting traded.

Kris Boyd, 6.5 Normally if he doesn’t score a goal he’ll get graded down here, as that is virtually his sole purpose on the field. Aside from his cross that Myers and Julio Cesar made a mess of, Boyd had some nice moments winning balls in the midfield and even in defense – namely a huge block of a dangerous Sapong cross in the dying moments of the first half.

Freddie Braun, 5.5 Very interesting introduction at right back when Lovel Palmer was in the game at Braun’s natural central midfield position. Took on a monumental challenge in trying to handle a front line of Teal Bunbury, Kamara, and Sapong. While Freddie couldn’t shut that down—show me a right back in the league that could—he did well to harass Kamara enough to keep him from getting comfortable.

Eric Alexander, 5 Came on in the 84^th minute and didn’t really have much of a chance to make an impact. Shocked not to see him in the starting lineup.

Franck Songo’o, 6 In a very, very brief spell, did nicely to relieve the pressure on the Timbers defense by taking the ball into the attacking third. Didn’t make anything of it, but in second half stoppage, relieving that pressure is vital.

Preseason Prediction: Timbers 1, SKC 0. Perlaza (Songo’o).[2]

Actual Result: Timbers 1, SKC 0. Myers (OG).

Onward, Rose City!

Ok, here's the deal on year Number 3:

If you're not yet familiar, Sunday Parkways has become a Portland summer tradition. The city shuts down an 8-mile or so loop of neighborhood streets to motor vehicles and the surrounding community takes to the streets to party. This happens in a different neighborhood each month.

People ride bikes, walk, run, skateboard, eat, drink, and dance. There's live music, games for kids in the parks...everyone has a smile on their face.

However, doing something like this requires large amounts of volunteers!

We had such a great time when we took the TA trailer and van to some of the Sunday Parkways events over the last two years that we decided to do it again! So, who wants to help us?

We are looking to get 10-15 people to help us with both shifts.

What: North Portland Sunday Parkways

When: May 13th, 11am-4pm

Where: NE Portland map

Your task (if you choose to volunteer) will be:

To stand at an intersection - we'll have a few in a row so you can mingle with fellow supporters - and wave to kids and other passersby. You'll also help route car traffic around/through the event. I've been told we are highly encouraged to "Timbers up" these intersections; i.e. crest chalked on the ground, music, flags, scarves, noise makers, etc... make it yours and have fun!

What's in it for you?

• A free t-shirt (WoopWoop!)
• Free snacks and drinks on the day of the event provided by sponsors
• The chance to rep the TA, the 107ist and the Timbers
• You get to hang out with new Timbers friends
• The warm glow of doing something good in and for your community!

How to register to volunteer:

• You'll want to go to the Sunday Parkways Website.
• Then click on the VOLUNTEER button on the left side of the page.
• Then click on the NORTHEAST MAY 13 button to get to the Volunteer Ticket Information page. Please choose the Mobile Superhero or Intersection Superhero at Rigler Elementary for the morning or afternoon shift (Mobile Superhero and the afternoon shifts are in greatest need).
• We plan to be there all day so the choice is yours!
• Click on Register to get to the next page, which is an Eventbrite form, and complete all the info required.
• At the very bottom of the Eventbrite form, it asks 'If you are volunteering with a Company or Organization, which one?' enter Timbers Army here to ensure that you get to hang out near other TA whilst volunteering.

How to come hang out and look cool and not have to volunteer:

If you don’t have time for the whole event, just want to hang out, are planning on riding the route with your family, etc., come anyway! It should be a great day to go for a bike ride with your mom. You can stay for as long as you like, and leave when you like. The more, the merrier. Spread the love, and all.

If you want to volunteer, please do, but if you don’t have time or are unable to commit, don’t let that keep you from coming along to see what it’s all about on the day.

SERIOUS BUSINESS ALCOHOL POLICY

The official policy we have been asked to pass along is that alcohol consumption while volunteering is forbidden. We were also definitely not> told anything about consuming before the shift starts, or about only drinking what appeared to be a coke while hanging out in the warm sun... not told anything like that at all. But seriously, think of the children.

Questions are welcomed. Please post them in the 107ist forum thread and we will answer them as quickly as possible.

Hope to see you there!

If you live in this neighborhood please come help us out... Represent!

—by Chris Rifer

Friday afternoon, as some Timbers supporters were preparing – perhaps bracing – for Saturday’s match against league leaders Sporting KC, Gavin Wilkinson was busy beginning the process of shaking up the roster.

Portland sent either a 2013 second round pick or a 2013 international roster spot[1] to Montreal for former Sounder Mike Fucito. After being left unprotected in the expansion draft, Fucito went to Montreal along with Lamar Neagle in a trade bringing Eddie Johnson to Seattle.[2]

At first glance, the trade for Portland is a curious one. Why another striker?

The answer must be that a striker is about to be shipped out via trade. With the Timbers already three-deep at striker with Kris Boyd, Darlington Nagbe, and Jorge Perlaza,[3] a trade for another attacking player of the quality who demands playing time would make no sense unless somebody was on the way out.

In other words, it’s been fun, Jorge. With Boyd and Nagbe being the Timbers primary source of goals this year, it’s inconceivable that either of them could be setting sail. The logical choice, then, in for Perlaza to go.  But where? And for what?

Glad you asked. Let’s speculate.[4]

The first step is to look at who might be interested. There are several teams that have been struggling to produce goals early on. You would have to think that any trade partner would be one of them.

The table suggests Vancouver might be interested, having only scored 5 goals in six matches, but if anybody has more of a logjam at striker than PTFC it’s the Caps. So, it won’t be Vancouver. Montreal can be similarly dismissed. If Perlaza were to be going to Impact it probably would have happened already – you know, like today.

So we leave Canada – for the moment – and head to New England. Between Saer Sene and Jose Moreno they, too, seem to have the striker position tenuously locked down. Our next stop takes us to Houston, where the options are plenty but not terribly good. Perlaza really isn’t the solution to that problem, and PTFC should be a little wary of the Dynamo after the last bill of goods they bought from them,[5] so we’ll two step out of Texas.

Chivas USA can’t be the destination as geriatrics Juan Pablo Angel and Alejandro Moreno, along with youngsters Casey Townsend and Cesar Romero would seemingly put the Goats out of the market. Similarly, Chicago’s recent signing of Chris Rolfe would seem to put out the Fire.

So that leaves three legitimate options; Philadelphia, Columbus, and Toronto.

Of those three, Philly is the first to be eliminated. If Peter Nowak wanted a quick striker who struggled with his first touch and was an inconsistent finisher, he would play Danny Mwanga more. Plus, they have more than a half dozen other semi-options at striker. So, there will be no brotherly love for Jorge.

Alright, then how about Toronto? They have a dearth of offense at the moment and a load of allocation money from making CCL. Indeed, Toronto would seem like a bona fide option for Jorge. But does Perlaza really fit in Aaron Winter’s system? And when Danny Kovermans is healthy they have the Dutchman, the unspectacular Ryan Johnson, and Joao Plata up front – two of whom they have been eagerly selling to their desperately frustrated fanbase. So, while Toronto has some specious allure, I would be slightly surprised to see Jorge end up there.

Which leads us to my prediction for Jorge’s next home. Jorge, welcome to beautiful Columbus, Ohio.[6] Let’s face it, the clean-shaven crew are just a mess up front. They have a couple interesting pieces for the future in Ethan Finlay and Ben Speas, but really nobody that can reliably open up space for Emilio Renteria. And Tommy Heinemann is just a vastly inappropriate player to feature on a club sponsored by Barbasol. Last week they threw out a strikeforce of  Aaron Schoenfeld and Olman Vargas. So they have a need.

Perlaza is also a great fit for Columbus’s system,[7] where they like to play pretty direct and look to pick Renteria out in the box. Jorge’s delectable pace would be perfect to open up seams in the box and set Renteria up in front of goal. What’s coming back? Allocation money. Are you kidding me? There’s nothing on Columbus that is going to fix the fullbacle[8] the Timbers must immediately remedy.

So there it is, Jorge Perlaza to Columbus for allocation money. That allocation money – along with the $38,000 difference between Fucito and Eddie Johnson’s salaries and the savings from moving Perlaza off the books – will be spent on an international fullback. Who will that be? Come on, even I have standards high enough to not speculate that much.

Onward, Rose City!

The world that is the Timbers Army Football Club continues to roll on for another busy week of matches. Well, for some teams anyway, as the scheduling issues affecting GPSD teams compressed some fixtures while other teams enjoy a long break between dates.  We also get our first reports from another of the TAFC futsal teams as they compete in their spring session.  Let’s take a look at each team and the newsworthy events since our last update.

We didn’t get a report from 101^st FC on their most current matches, but they were certainly pleased after winning their first match of the spring term.  We’re hoping that the big dogs can continue their early season success in representing the TAFC in Men’s Division 4 futsal, and wish them the best in representing our collective.

AC Loco Moco faced off against TeamAmerica in Division 4 Coed Soccer action at Portland Indoor Soccer, and apparently we learned it wasn’t a band of mercenary marionettes but rather a competitive soccer club.  AC Loco Moco held their own for extended parts of the match, but fell 7 to 4 and learned they would be without the services of their starting goalkeeper after injury.  Bradley White continues to lead the team in scoring so far this season, and ACLM gets back to business this weekend with a Sunday evening match versus FRIDJES REFRITOS.  There’s also big news from team manager Matt Wagner, who announced that due to a large number of teams playing in Red, we are changing our primary kit color to Green.

Cascade Rangers FC had their annual battle with North End United on April 15, and have watched their roster be reinforced with some new additions for the latest term.  Newcomer Jesse Ritorto scored early in this match, but NEU were able to level things later on as the teams played to a 1 all draw.  Manager Jerry Makare and captain Jamey Billig were both unavailable due to travel, but the rest of CRFC stepped up to salvage the draw.  Another derby match awaits the Rangers as they face Rose City Athletic at noon atOldOregonCityHigh School. We’ll have the opposite view of the derby match in the NEU report later.

We’ve not talked much about Coat? FC, a TAFC Co-ed futsal team that joined the TAFC collective in the Winter of 2011, but they’ve been busy with their season since mid-March.  They were lucky enough to have fixtures on April 17 and 18, losing 8 to 3 to Team X in match 1 but beating Hat-Trick Swayze for the second time this year 9 to 5.  In his match report on the April 10 affair, team representative Milon Good said, “We played Hat-trick Swayze, a team of very, VERY young kids who were quick, skilled, and seemed to have boundless amounts of energy. But what they had in youth and agility, we made up for in composure, steady defense, and fast break goals.”  We wish them the best of luck as they finish their term on April 24.

We gave FC Dynamo credit for winning in week 1, but apparently this intrepid report was incorrect in that statement.  While team manager Dave Trausneck was appreciative for the extra win, they were hoping to earn it for real against Abysinnia on April 15. FC Dynamo started the match with nine field players and got the number to 10 before a significant injury dropped their number down. Once they got up to a full eleven around the 20^th minute, FC Dynamo were able to take control of the match behind a brace from forward Kabir Pradhan and a second half goal from Perry Broderick as they won 3 to 1.  This puts them in second place in GPSD Division 1 with 2 wins an a loss going into their date with North End on April 22.

FC Portlandia didn’t submit an official match report in time for inclusion here, but GPSD reported the boys in purple beat County Cork FC 1 to 0 on April 14, giving them their first win of the spring term.  They will face a familiar foe to this report as they play Abysinnia on April 22 at Delta Park Strasser, and we hope to have recaps of both matches in our official recap next week.

In reading the recap of the NEU – CRFC derby match, it was another adventure for North End United as they had issues finding the right location for the affair.  Once they got everything sorted out, their report indicates that the sun aided CRFC with their first goal, but NEU had the run of the match for the most part and got their goal off a free kick from Sam Nicholas after Joel Weakland was brought down just outside the box.  The match wasn’t without some controversy as a late NEU goal was called back for an offside violation. Despite the swarming attack and plethora of chances, the game ended in a 1 all draw.  NEU will hopefully find the right location this week as they play the Fiji Islanders atSynderPark on April 22.

Northern Alliance FC had their own issues in game two, but not due to facility issues for once.  The game official for their match againstSouth VN failed to show up on time, meaning the match got off to a late start.  Johnathan Davidson becomes a historical footnote for NAFC as he tallied the first official goal of their history while the South VN goalkeeper punched a ball into his own net for an own goal, but South VN would match the two goals and then score three more to win 5 to 2 officially.  NAFC has a match this weekend with something called the Electric Dream Machine, so feel free to insert your favorite joke or comment about the name here.

Old Growth FC had another off week because of the scheduling issues, so their next official match won’t take place until April 22^nd against Tug and Whistle at LaSalle HS.  The extra time allowed the club to get more practice time in, but the team is now struck with some injury issues with groins and calves that could shorten their numbers.  The team is also extremely jealous of co-manager Eric Berg who decided that a trip across the pond toSpain sounded like more fun than staying home to play soccer with his OGFC teammates.

Rose City Athletic faced a determined SDFC3 team in Sherwood on April 15.  Despite manager Rob Jerand’s best efforts to earn a card with some Zidane inspired antics, the boys in red used two goals from Ben Dietrich and a single tally from Bryan Boen to hold off their opponents 3 to 0.  Boen and Dietrich weren’t the only RCA players to excel, as Jerand credits the overall team defense and great work from goalkeeper Ryan Vasbinder to earn the clean sheet.  RCA will battle CRFC this weekend, and we hope it’s as entertaining as the CRFC – NEU match this past weekend.

What up, from the Timbers Army merchandise team.

I know we have tried to blog before, and communicate through the No Pity Van twitter and NPO Facebook, but we still feel like it's still really hard to communicate what we are doing and where we are trying to head to the greater membership. The difficulty with this, is that we are all volunteers and adding more work, answering questions and explaining the method to our madness just isn't appealing after working on the more fun aspects. I hope that doesn't sound flippant because it's very sincere.

That being said, we at the merch team will attempt to update everyone once a month.

With that said let’s get down to business.

Shirts of the Month (SOTM)

Two years ago, we decided that we were going to start making a new shirt every month, usually modeled after the old punk rock shirts from pre 2008, but we kept screwing up the timing. This year we're killing it, we have the first half of the season lined up with designs, they are all printed.

We are only selling SOTM at the van and they are limited to only 50 shirts, with no re-runs. So when they are gone they're gone (No exceptions and I say this with a sad face because I missed out on the current SOTM). Currently we have the "Pop Art" shirt (shout out designer Matt Leamy) right now in limited qualities as they've been on sale for two matches. Next month we have the boxing gym style shirt that you can see on the NPO Tumblr  and in June we have a special surprise for the Cascadia home games.

coming up from the merch blog: more new hats, limited scarves and more swag.

much love,

-Merch