Dear. Mr. and Mrs. Ultras,

I feel compelled to write you as it seems your kids have suffered from some unfortunate misguidance. I don’t want to raise any alarms, and am not looking to get anyone in trouble. I am merely concerned with their inability to play well with others.

It’s unfortunate that the kids are based in San Jose. Being commonly regarded as the “third-of-three” city in the Bay Area would be tough on most kids. Nobody remembers the bronze medalist at the Olympics, or the second runner-up at the Miss America pageant, so nobody can fault the kids for having an inferiority complex.

Also, your neighbors that do share their common interests aren’t really neighbors at all. The kids to the north (Portland, Seattle, Vancouver) tend to focus on each other, and have done so since the 70’s. The other two kids (Los Angeles and Chivas USA) are forced to focus on each other due to some kind of lame experiment being orchestrated from the east coast.

Basically, it’s not your fault that your kids are stuck with a label of “double outcast.” They’re just isolated by geography and cultural upbringing.

The real unfortunate part is that your kids have already got a good thing going right there in San Jose. Your kids get to watch a high-performing soccer team in their own back yard in a setting that allows them a level of access that your neighbors don’t have. Once the new stadium is completed, that level of access will be greatly reduced. I would implore them to appreciate it while they can.

After reviewing their tifo display from last night’s match against the Timbers, I think it may be in the best interest of your kids to seek help from professionals. Your so-called neighbors rarely go to great expense (in time, effort and money) to simply call out the opponent in a manner that doesn’t make much sense, regardless of whether it was intended to be serious or humorous. Instead, this display simply revealed the fact that your kids desperately want attention from someone (or some people) that really couldn’t be more indifferent about them. It made us feel sad for them.

Please do what you can to turn your kids’ attention back onto their own team, especially since that team is currently in first place, and is worthy of it. Their efforts would be better spent inspiring their own team rather than forcing the opponents’ fans to scratch their heads.

Sincerely,

Andrew Brawley

Treasurer/Secretary, Neighborhood Watch

 

This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the 107ist or the TA.