The 2014 Timbers season is upon us. And if you’re reading this, then odds are good you’ll be looking for tickets to match in the near future. Let’s talk about this, shall we?

Single-game tickets (for the first nine matches) go on sale next week. In case you hadn’t already heard, a ticket to a Timbers match isn’t the easiest thing to come by. They might not be “Wonka Golden Ticket” status yet, but sometimes it can kinda feel like that. With the Timbers’ current level of success, we find ourselves in a seller’s market, and the have’s got it much easier than the have-not’s.

Unfortunately, with a seller’s market comes the scalper. Let’s be crystal clear on this right now:

WE HATE SCALPERS!!!

How do you make garbage smell even worse? Rub it on a scalper. (Note: we don’t encourage rubbing scalpers with garbage.) If you threw dirt onto a scalper, the dirt would complain of getting too dirty. (Note: we don’t encourage throwing dirt onto scalpers.) Scalpers are lower than low, and we ask that you not buy from (or sell to) scalpers. Here’s why:

1. Obviously, scalpers keep the profit from all tickets sold to themselves. The only entity entitled to any profit from tickets sold are the Timbers themselves, who would probably take that money and put it toward things like more bathrooms at Providence Park, community efforts via their Stand Together program, or perhaps even acquiring Lionel Messi. Because that profit doesn’t find its way into the Timbers coffers, we’d rather see no profit be generated at all, especially to those who don’t deserve it, when it comes to reselling tickets.
2. Basic economics suggest that Timbers tickets are worth exactly what the market will bear. And in Portland, the market sure is willing to bear. Oh, how we bear! However, like most resale environments, the market tends to peak between now and about 48 hours before the event occurs or expires, at which point the price tends to drop rapidly in order to get rid of any existing ticket inventory. This sort of-bell curve tends to contribute a sort of false inflation, especially around higher-demand games (i.e. Seattle, Vancouver, LA, etc.). This false inflation discourages those less fortunate when trying to seek tickets to a Timbers match. We feel that anyone in our community that wants to attend a Timbers match should be able to, especially at a price that is affordable to them. That doesn’t mean getting Key Club seats at half-price. It means getting the seats you want at a fair price. We feel that original prices are fair, and that’s what the community should pay.

Have you fallen asleep yet? Sorry about that.

With these things in mind, we have listed a few methods below on how to get tickets to Timbers matches in 2014.

• Timbers Ticket Exchange on Facebook. This group is run by seven of the sexiest members of the Timbers Army. With close to 5,000 members, this is your best bet to find both sellers and buyers of Timbers tickets. The season ticket holder price for a TA-section ticket in the 2014 regular season is just $22. Scalping is not tolerated, and many a banhammer has been dropped in here. Buyers will have to work hard to find sellers, but keep at it, especially as game time approaches. (Also, follow @TimbersTickets on Twitter for occasional updates.)
• 107ist Member Forums. Are you a paid member of 107ist for 2014? If not, a $25 annual membership fee gets you all kinds of discounts at local merchants, plus a few other exclusive trinkets. You’ll also get access to a members-only forum where tickets can be bought and sold.
• The Fanladen (fan-law-den). Did you know the Timbers Army has an actual physical office? It’s true, and it’s kinda like what Pee-Wee’s Playhouse would be if he sat in the North End at every match. It’s just one block from the northeast corner of Providence Park, and open a few hours before kickoff time on every match day. This place serves as a safe location for the physical exchange of tickets, and it’s 100% scalper-free!
• The No Pity Van. Surely you’ve seen this bright yellow van across the street from the northeast corner of Providence Park. It’s in the garage at Rack Attack. It’s where we sell No Pity scarves, TA shirts, and all sorts of merch that support the TA’s community efforts. This also serves as a meeting place to exchange tickets, and is probably the best bet for your last-minute needs.

When using these options, please remember that all are moderated and maintained by volunteers. Also, we ask you to recognize that there are times when there are simply not enough tickets for everyone that wants them. The Timbers currently have a 51-match sellout streak. Nobody will argue that more tickets are desired. However, there may be times when there just isn’t a ticket to be found. If this is the case for you, please practice some restraint, take a deep breath, and try again for the next match.

And above all else, please ignore scalpers. Don’t buy from them. Don’t sell to them. Don’t interact with them. Just ignore them. The more we practice these methods, the more likely they will disappear into the ether.

#RCTID