—by Andrew Brawley
I think we could use a few more down-tempo songs to work into Timbers chants. Apparently our version of "Can't Help Falling In Love," always sung after the 80th minute (when soccer games are totes boring), just isn't enough.
It might be due to the fact that it's been covered by Elvis (yeah...he covered it...he didn't write it), UB40 (a British reggae band...BRITISH!!! REGGAE!!!), and some Swedish pop group called A-Teens (SWEDISH!!! POP!!! TEENS!!!), and now the Timbers Army.
I say we double down and add a few more slow numbers to our chant catalog. What say ye? But instead of slow jams, let's amp it up a bit with some power ballads. They've never lead to eye-rolling. Here are a few suggestions: (Video no longer available.)
When Kip Winger wasn't singing about minors, he was cranking out power ballads. If there was ever a tune where the title alone describes the decades-long ethos of a Timbers fan, it's this one.
I think this is a funny one because A) it's the band Europe, and we've been known to do The Final Countdown now and then, and 2) the song is called Carrie, which is also the name of a classic 70's revenge flick where an unfortunate high school girl gets set up for love, but then get's tricked, so she ends up murdering a lot of people.
Not sure why I picked this one.
Y'know what happens when the Timbers give up a goal late in the game, right around the time we start chanting "Can't Help Falling In Love?" The children...they cry.
Y'know what I need after the Timbers give up a goal late in the game, right around the time we're chanting "Can't Help Falling In Love?" Someone...to be there...for me.
Y'know what happens every time the Timbers give up a goal late in the game, right around the time we chant "Can't Help But Falling In Love?" We come to realize that we don't know what we got...till it's gooo-ow-wooonnnne. (Followed by the total realization of learning what we had...two extra points.)
Believe it or not, some people get bent out of shape about this stuff. They'll scream "it's tradition" every time I whine about this chant going down at every game. To that, I say: y'know what else was a tradition? Slavery. And we managed to end that one, so I think we can reconfigure moving a slow-tempo chant to a less-impactful point in the game. Put it in the first half, I really don't care. I'm not asking to eliminate it. But dropping it right in the likely flashpoint of a match makes no sense to me.
Alright I'm done. Im'ma go make a snack.
This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the 107ist or the TA.
