—by Chris Rifer
In college I played a lot of NCAA Football 2004 on PlayStation. I know, I probably wasn’t the coolest kid on campus. But still, I was really good at NCAA 2004. Like multi-year 200-something game winning streak good. Each season, as I was slicing my way through the Pac-10 with high-double digit wins, I would run into one game where virtually everything that could go wrong did go wrong. Penalties, dropped passes, fumbles. You name it. The twists and turns of the game would be beyond absurd. Back in the day, my brother termed this game the “Oh No You Don’t Game.” Until Sunday I didn’t know the Oh No You Don’t Game happened in real life.
The match got off to its expected start with the Timbers controlling possession, if struggling to make the final pass. In an instant, however, D.C. United would turn the game on its head. In their first real push into their attacking third, Chris Pontius threw the ball inbounds to Blake Brettschneider on the endline who headed back into the box and onto the foot of Perry Kitchen. Perry knocked the ball into the open net for his first MLS goal.
The Timbers pushed hard for the equalizer in the first half, and appeared to have it when Kenny Cooper slotted past Bill Hamid. Not so fast. Cooper had jumped early on his run, and the goal was nullified by an offside call. After another Jack Jewsbury corner was cleared only as far as Diego Chara, who ran into a threatening position in the box looking to cross. Not so fast. The referee blew the whistle for halftime.
The second half got off to a similar start. Portland appeared to be pushing for the equalizer when Kenny Cooper again broke free—this time on a Jewsbury free kick from the left wing. Cooper nodded Jewsbury’s perfect service into the back of the net, and the game appeared to be back on level terms. Not so fast. Cooper had again jumped early, pulling himself offside just before Jewsbury struck the ball.
Finally, the Timbers got their equalizer. On a Jeremy Hall long throw, United defender Dejan Jakovic pulled Cooper down in the box, yielding a penalty. If things weren’t weird before, they were about to get Twilight Zone. Hamid saved Cooper’s first penalty effort, in large part because he illegally came off his line to cut down the angle. The assistant referee was on the call, and Cooper was awarded another penalty. Hamid, however, again saved the second penalty, but for the same reason—he had come off his line, and the Timbers were awarded a third penalty. This time Jewsbury stepped up to the spot and pounded the ball into the upper left corner. All was level, and the Timbers were again thinking about three points.
Not so fast. Those thoughts would be short-lived. As Chris Pontius lined up a shot at the top of the box, Diego Chara slid in to tackle the ball away. Chara missed the ball with his feet, and as he was sliding by the ball grazed over his arm as Pontius took a touch. It was about as incidental a handball as you will find, but Geoff Gamble, the young referee in his second MLS match, signaled for a penalty. Pontius smashed the penalty into the top left corner, and in the 74th minute D.C. once again had the lead.
United looked to put the game on ice in the 85th minute, as Josh Wolff took a ball off the head of Brettschneider and slotted it past a charging but isolated Troy Perkins. We’re done, right? Not so fast.
Just three minutes later, Hall again took a long throw and found the head of Jorge Perlaza, who nodded it into the bottom right corner past Hamid. Three minutes later in stoppage time it was again Perlaza, whose shot from distance beat Hamid but skipped tantalizingly wide of the target. In the end, Portland couldn’t find the final equalizer and dropped their first league match at Jeld-Wen Field.
Match Observations
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- I hate talking about the referee a lot in match reports, but when they affect the game like Gamble did, it demands discussion. First off, the linesman was correct to disallow Cooper’s goals. He was offside both times, although the second was quite a bit closer than the first. That should not in any way be taken a vindication of Gamble and his crew. They were atrocious. First off, I have never seen a half or fulltime whistle blown when the attacking team had possession of the ball in the box. It is true that added time is entirely at the discretion at the referee, but referees generally exercise their discretion more responsibly in blowing the whistle after the danger has been cleared. Moreover, Gamble flat blew the Chara handball. When he was talking about it with Jewsbury after the play, the camera appeared to show him motioning to Captain Jack like Chara had hooked the ball in his arm. Nothing could be further from reality. The ball did glance off Chara’s arm, but only really as a result of a Pontius touch, and the incidental touch on Chara’s arm did not affect the play in any way. Chara certainly did not reach for the ball, and his arm was not really even extended away from his body. Is that a handball at midfield? Probably, but to give a game-changing penalty for such an incidental, inconsequential handball is the height of refereeing irresponsibility. Lest we think the bad calls only went D.C.’s way, however, there were plenty of head-scratchers that favored Portland. My favorite? Jeremy Hall went up to make a play on a long ball in the first half, but out-ran the ball. As he was flying by, he blatantly handled the ball. Gamble made a call, but incredibly awarded the free kick to the Timbers. I think I’ve said my bit on this subject.
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- Portland didn’t deserve to win the match. The defense that has been so reliable was bad all day. They were constantly caught out of shape and left Perkins on an island several times. The Timbers’ midfield dominated the match, as Portland had a 60-40 possession advantage and, for once, didn’t get killed in passing accuracy. United only had 7 open play crosses and two corners, to the Timbers 23 and 8, respectively. In spite of that, Portland’s backline escorted D.C. to 10 shots with five on target. Perhaps the loss was a bit unjust, but the defense simply didn’t play well enough to earn three points.
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- In the first half, Portland showed an alarming lack of quality and creativity in the attacking third. Again, the midfield was dominant, but when Portland moved into the attacking third they showed little in the way of danger.
Timbers Grades
Troy Perkins, 5 I had a hard time with this one. None of the goals were really a result of his mistakes, and he did make a couple nice saves. That said, he also had a self-inflicted nervous moment or two that he escaped from. Not his best match, but he’s not the reason the Timbers lost.
Rodney Wallace, 4 One of the culpable parties on the third goal. It was sort of a fluky goal, but he and Futty should have had Wolff bracketed. Wallace, though, was wrongsided and too far behind, letting the ball bounce to Wolff’s feet and put the Timbers in critical condition.
Futty, 4.5 I’m not sure why Wallace was playing behind Wolff and Futty was in front of him, or why Futty had drifted so far up field when Brettschneider played the ball in the air. Nonetheless, he gets a half bump up for being robbed of a goal by a great save in the first half.
Eric Brunner, 5 Wasn’t his steadying self in the center of the defense, but gets spared a negative grade because he really wasn’t culpable on any of the goals.
Jeremy Hall, 5.5 Had a number of nice long throws, including two that led to eventual goals. He also may have been Portland’s best player in defense today. Still, on the big screen before the match Jeremy said that he wished he could have the superpower of invisibility. Funny, because there are some times when he appears to have that superpower.
Kalif Alhassan, 5 Was pretty dynamic on the ball at times, making several nice runs at goal and collecting the ball well at midfield. That said, he had his fingerprints all over the first concession, as Kitchen was his mark and Kalif was left watching as young Perry slotted the ball home.
Diego Chara, 6 I am learning to appreciate Chara more and more. He has a pretty remarkable knack for dispossessing opposing players of the ball. It’s like he sort of just sidles up to them and before anybody knows it, Chara has himself between his foe and the ball. His passing in the midfield is by far the crispest (Microsoft assures me that’s a word) on the team.
Jack Jewsbury, 6.5 He and Chara teamed to dominate the midfield, and it was a wise move (probably by Spenny) for Jack to take the third penalty and put it home. My one criticism: After Gamble awards that penalty to D.C., Captain Jack needs to get in his face a bit more. Gamble needs to feel the heat of that call, and Jewsbury was a bit too nice. Compare Jack’s reaction after a bad penalty call against D.C.’s reaction after a pretty obvious penalty call. This referee showed that he was bullyable (that definitely isn’t a word), and in that situation Jack needs to be more of a bully.
Sal Zizzo, 5 Had some nice runs up the right side, but really didn’t create that much from them. Today was Sallie’s chance to show that the difference between he and Nagbe was too dramatic to keep starting Darlington. He failed.
Jorge Perlaza, 6 As Spencer put it last week, his movement is electric. Was deserving of the goal he notched late to make things interesting. Unlucky not to find the equalizer in stoppage that would have sent Jeld-Wen into pandemonium.
Kenny Cooper, 3.5 Boy, oh boy. I love how active Cooper was trying to be up front, but he was caught offside four times—twice famously. He has to do a better job with that. He was getting good service today, but nullified a lot of it. Also, when your manager calls you off a PK—especially after you have had the first two (illegally) saved—just step back and let your teammate take it. His reaction to that took him out of the game at a crucial time. Not what you want from your target man. He is in no danger of benching, nor should he be, but Kenny has to put this very bad day at the office behind him and break out of his funk.
Ryan Pore, 5 Moved very well up front, but when it came time to make the decisive touch he was tragically lacking.
Adam Moffat, INC Didn’t make much of an impact in short duty. To be honest, it was kind of a funny move by Spencer, as Chara had been good. Shouldn’t have shaved his beard, either.
Belated Ajax Observations
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- First of all, that was a lot of fun. Ajax is probably internationally a top-10 club, and their quality and depth showed throughout.
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- All things considered, I thought the Timbers actually acquitted themselves pretty well. Obviously, Ajax more than outclassed Portland, but other than the two goals—one of which we will get to in a moment—Ajax really didn’t have many great opportunities. Portland’s defensive shape was pretty good throughout, and the team of Brunner, Futty, and Horst in the middle were at times dominant.
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- Speaking of Brunner, Futty, and Horst, at the start of the season I strongly felt that the Timbers needed to bring in another central back in order to be successful. I was wrong. Those three guys have showed that they have what it takes to lock down a solid backline, leaving the Timbers a lot of options with what they can spend their remaining money on. NOTE: I wrote this before the United match. I think I still stand by it, but reserve the right to change my mind at a future date. After all, what’s the point of writing about sports if you can’t shamelessly flip-flop? Right, John Canzano?
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- Eddie Johnson’s missed opportunity was one of the worst misses I have seen by anybody in a Timbers uniform. The cross was pretty much perfect and he couldn’t have been more than three yards out from a wide open net.
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- He only got a few minutes of run, but I thought Kalif was again electric. If, as rumored, Ajax has their eye on him, they must have liked what they saw in his brief stint.
First Trimester Awards
We’re approximately one-third the way through the season, and because I have nothing better to do, I decided to hand out some awards and grade the front office. Of course, as always, sound off.
MVP – Jack Jewsbury. Is there any question that the most important factor in the Timbers’ early season success has been the set piece? No. Who has their hand in every set piece taken? Captain Jack. Therefore, he is your MVP. Honorable Mention: Eric Brunner, Kalif Alhassan.
Biggest Surprise – Kalif Ahassan. I expected him to get some minutes this year, but I didn’t think he was going to be a regular starter, much less one of the Timbers’ best players. He has picked up right where he left off the late stages of last year, and continued to improve and show more of that tremendous potential. He is either going to be a great Timber for a long time or earn the club a hefty transfer fee. Honorable Mention: Futty, Jake Gleeson.
Biggest Disappointment – Kevin Goldthwaite. The Timbers signed him last year expecting him to come in and compete for a starting spot on the MLS roster. He won that starting spot—then promptly lost it due to impressively poor performance. Since then, he hasn’t sniffed the pitch except in a virtual reserve match in U.S. Open Cup Qualifying. Dishonorable Mention: Adin Brown, Peter Lowry, Adam Moffat.
Most Improved Player – Rodney Wallace. In the first two league matches of the season, Rod was bad. Like, really bad. Like, Rebecca Black “Friday” bad. Okay, I got a little carried away there. Since then he has progressed virtually every week. Now he is the “No, No, No, No…Alright!” guy on the roster. The way he plays defense is at times a bit blood pressure-raising, but he gets the job done. His improvement is one of the major differences between what was an awful defense at the beginning of the campaign and a usually stingy one now. Honorable Mention: Kalif Alhassan, Jeremy Hall.
Most Poised to Make the Jump – Freddie Braun. Hasn’t had much first team time, but when he has, he has made the most of it. In both the Open Cup Qualifier against the Quakes and the second half against Ajax, Braun has impressed at right back. He’s still young, but the Timbers have to like what they see out of their former U-23er. Honorable Mention: Brian Umony, Jorge Perlaza. I didn’t consider Gleeson here because, well, in my mind he already has made the jump.
Grading the Front Office
John Spencer, A-: In the words of the great Yul Brenner from “Cool Runnings,” in John Spencer I see a badass motha’ who don’t take no crap off nobody. I think sometimes he lets that distract him, and perhaps the team, a little bit—as I think we saw during the post-Seattle comments. That said, Sunday aside, he has done an incredible job of turning a team that looked awful into a legitimate playoff contender in a matter of a few weeks, and if the team keeps it up he will have to be the favorite for MLS Coach of the Year.
Gavin Wilkinson, B+: His saving grace was getting the Diego Chara deal done and the resurgence of Rodney Wallace. The McCarty trade went from looking inexcusable to brilliant in a matter of a couple weeks. As is to be expected, some of his Expansion Draft picks have fallen flat (Moffat, Lowry), while others have been surprisingly successful (Brunner, Horst). His signings from the 2nd division have generally been good, with Kalif, Futty, Gleeson, and Braun being the highlights. There have been a couple that have disappointed thus far, namely Goldthwaite and Johnson—although it’s probably too early to close the book on Eddie. In the end, the positives have far outweighed the negatives, and any questions about whether Gavin was qualified to handle such a high profile job have been resoundingly put to rest.
Merritt Paulson, A: Now granted, I am not on the inside of Army-FO relations, in fact far from it, but I don’t think from an organizational standpoint the first trimester could have gone any better. The Army and the FO appear to have a good working relationship, which has certainly helped take The North End to another level this year. The Timbers have become the darlings of the MLS because of a surprisingly quality team, creative marketing campaigns, and a loud, sold out Jeld-Wen Field. Merritt gets credit for all of these things, and also for throwing chips and hot dogs to the travelling Army in Seattle. It’s good to be the boss when things are going well, so Merritt gets the credit right now. Just don’t look to your cross-town major sports franchise owner as a role model.
2,991 words! If you have made it this far, you have my hearty congratulations and gratitude. Onward, Rose City!