—by Lucas Grzybowski

I woke up with this in my head this morning, not having heard it in years (whenever I last visited the Charleston Battery website, where this addictive little ditty would play on a loop), and now, apropos of absolutely nothing, I'm giving it to you.

Battery song.mp3

A little about the Battery:

They are currently in the third division, having self-relegated from D2 when it all started to go south for second division soccer in the States (i.e., 2010, or as I like to call it, the United States Soccer Federation Division Two Professional League Era; rolls right off the tongue, that).

They play in a lovely little soccer park called Blackbaud Stadium, which I unfortunately never visited during the time they competed in the same division as the Timbers. There's a soccer pub attached to the stadium that is apparently a must-visit, so if the Timbers ever find themselves playing in Charleston for a US Open Cup match or anything, maybe I'll make it out.

Battery's all-time leading scorer is Paul Conway, son of former Timbers player (NASL) and coach (NASL/USL) Jimmy Conway. Paul grew up in Portland, and began his career with FC Portland, playing with them for one season (1989) alongside Scott Benedetti, John Bain and Kasey Keller; he also played for Carlisle United in northern England. After scoring 91 goals in seven seasons with the Battery (still by far the club record), the younger Conway returned to Portland and finished his career with one season in Timbers Green (2005: he was slow and old and scored one goal in 13 appearances, and was a real nice guy the couple times I met him).

Timbers legend Byron Alvarez played one season for Charleston after leaving Portland following the dark times of 2006. When the Battery played here that year it was almost physically painful to see El Matador on the Piggy pitch dressed in another team's kit (but at least he didn't go play for *that team*, unlike another former Timbers great).

They had/have good supporters, some of whom would make it out to Portland each year, and from what I gather they're very welcoming to visiting fans, inviting them to their excellent pub for pre- and post-game quaffs.

Despite all of the above, when I think about the Battery, I think about that song. Enjoy the earworm!