—by Garrett Dittfurth

You suck asshole used to be one of my favorite chants. I used to get all riled up about it and scream it with all my might. It was the loudest and clearest chant we did. But here's the thing. You Suck Asshole got old. It started to suck. It still does. It's a complete embarrassment to any group that shouts it in a coordinated fashion at an opposing goalkeeper taking a kick. It's stupid and uncreative.

However, the New England Revolution's front office went WAY overboard in their latest attempt to squash their supporters groups from using this chant. For the last 16 years they basically ignored it. Apparently they decided to try and enforce the ban of it to appeal to the soccer mom crowd after sending out an email and talking to some supporters groups on the side. In order to do that they used their security guards to remove people from their supporters section because they used that chant. The Foxboro police arrested more people for disorderly conduct for using the you suck asshole chant than they arrested Boston residents celebrating the Bruins Stanley Cup win. In addition there are also accusations of improper conduct by the Foxboro Police Department which can be found in the linked article above.

Recently MLS sent their head of marketing to Portland to talk about what's right about soccer in the Pacific Northwest so that the league might implement what is right here in struggling markets. They know Cascadia has it right. We had a problem with the you suck asshole chant years ago. It took almost 2 years to completely kill that thing and we didn't have as many years of doing it like the Revolution's supporters did. Our front office worked with us to kill off that chant long before MLS sniffed Portland. It didn't happen overnight and it didn't happen without some relapses and false starts. It took a lot of work from a lot of dedicated people. You won't hear that chant here because we've had enough time to educate people on why it's not used and the Timbers FO was a good faith partner who understood that working with us as equals and providing positive incentives was a smarter solution than threats and bans.

So a final message to New England's front office. You suck. You're an embarrassment to MLS and all American soccer supporters. You have been unable to draw anyone to your games for years. Your marketing campaigns are crap and the fact you play your games in a NFL stadium miles outside of Boston is ridiculous. You're failing on so many levels it's not even funny anymore. In this latest marketing attempt you viciously attacked the most dedicated supporters that actually will go to your games miles outside of Boston and actually care about your club. These people are the bread and butter of any successful club and you rewarded years of loyalty with a knife in the back. Your ineptitude is bordering mind boggling status at this point. You need help, a lot of it, and the sad part is we know you'll squander that help even when you receive it.

If the USSF ever gets smart and awards USMNT games to Portland we will actively quash that chant along with providing the national team the best support in the country. This is a message to Sam's Army and American Outlaws. When you're in Portland don't even think about doing that chant. We will put people on the capo stands who won't do it and we'll actively use our messaging arm to make sure it's clear that chant never sees the light of day in Portland. We'll represent USA in a smart and witty way that doesn't involve chanting obscenities just because they're kinda funny to scream as an adult. Portland is better than that and so is the USA.

This is an opinion piece and does not necessarily reflect the opinion of the 107ist or the TA.

—by Chris Rifer

If you have a history of heart problems in the family, it’s not a bad idea to consult your cardiologist before becoming a Timbers supporter. On Sunday night the Portland Timbers again left their faithful picking up the pieces. Once again the Timbers took a positive result into second half stoppage time. Once again they fumbled the match away after the clock had struck ninety.

The match started ominously. In the fourth minute Thierry Henry sent a pretty one-touch pass to a dubiously onside Dwayne DeRosario streaking down the left side. DeRo played a pass into the top of the box where an unmarked Austin da Luz fired past an observant Timbers defense and a helpless Troy Perkins.

As the half wore on, The Timbers calmed things down with a bit of old-fashioned offensive conservatism. Portland focused on maintaining possession, and the Timbers were successful largely without objection from New York. The Red Bulls had a few more, but chances for both sides were few and far between as the match turned into a bit of a midfield slog.

That wouldn’t last. In the 48^th minute, after an indifferent clearance by Red Bulls defender Jan Gunnar Solli, Jack Jewsbury blasted a low shot from outside the box into the back of the net.

A minute later, Portland was at it again. Jewsbury played a free kick from the left wing to Eric Brunner at the far post. Brunner deftly nodded the ball down to Kevin Goldthwaite who clipped the ball with the back of his heel past Greg Sutton. The Timbers hadn’t scored a goal in two and a half games. Then they scored two in less than two and a half minutes.

The rout looked to be on in the 56^th minute when Jewsbury played another free kick into the box, this time from the right wing. Brunner got a head on the ball, which sailed over Sutton and seemed destined for goal until Teemu Tainio bicycled the ball off the line.

In the 68^th minute Portland appeared to put the match on ice as Jorge Perlaza’s cross was generously redirected by former Timber Stephen Keel for an own goal. The Timbers were up 3-1 and had complete control.

Thierry Henry wasn’t done, though. In the 73^rd minute Henry bent the Timbers defense out of shape with a clever bit of passing and an aggressive run, got the ball back, and smashed it past Troy Perkins.

The drama continued three minutes later, as Jorge Perlaza again found himself with the ball at his feet on the break. This time Sutton came out to meet him, but instead of making contact with ball, Sutton only hit Perlaza’s shin guard. On the ensuing penalty, Jewsbury stepped to the ball with an opportunity to put the game firmly back into the Timbers’ possession, but only found post.

After a dizzying first 30 minutes to the second half, the game finally settled into a bit of a rhythm. New York found an occasional opportunity, but didn’t seem to have the will to create anything too dangerous.

After Henry was mysteriously sent off three minutes into stoppage time it seemed that Portland had sealed the win. One last Timbers turnover, however, sprung New York onto one last desperate breakaway. A long ball sent forward found Goldthwaite with a little bit of space behind him. Goldthwaite’s clearance, however, only made it as far as DeRosario. DeRo’s hopeful cross into the box was knocked down by Rodney Wallace’s outstretched arm, forcing the referee to signal for a penalty. Given the opportunity to steal a point, the Canadian international wasted little time, striking the penalty just past the outstretched arm of Perkins and into the net.

The result was a devastating tie—the most deflating result in a string of four matches that have seen three heartbreakers. For the second match in a row Portland showed extended periods of brilliance but couldn’t turn that into a well-earned three points.

Match Observations

• This had nothing to do with the referee. I thought the referee was actually pretty good—even if a little bit card-happy in the second half. The handball was blatant and substantially affected the play. It had to be called. That’s Rod’s fault, not the referee’s.
• I think the penalty kick contest needs to become a weekly thing. The Timbers have taken four penalties this year, and made one. That’s not bad. It’s awful. I think the Timbers are trying to be a bit too cute, trying to hit particular spots instead of just choosing a direction and putting the ball on frame with pace. If you do that—regardless of what the keeper does—you’re going to make the vast majority of your penalties. If you miss it’s because the keeper made a great save. You can live with that once in a while.
• The lack of cohesion in back is really obvious right now. I think this is largely due to key absences in the backline. The defense, more than any other unit, relies on communication and awareness of your teammates. Such cohesion is really difficult to have when guys are in and out of the lineup. The last time we had the same starting back four in two consecutive matches? Columbus and D.C. United. Okay, maybe the second of those games isn’t the best example, but you get the point.

Timbers Grades

Troy Perkins, 5 None of the goals were really his fault, but if Troy comes up with some of his magic at some point in the match we’re all in a better mood right now.

Rodney Wallace, 2.5 Okay, Chris, keep your cool. Stay calm. Take a deep breath. WHAT IN THE NAME OF BOB BARKER IS WRONG WITH YOU, ROD?! WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU ARE TAUGHT IN KICK AND CHASE?! DEFENDING A COUNTERATTACK IS LIKE GOING ON A ROLLERCOASTER – KEEP YOUR HANDS AND ARMS INSIDE YOUR BODY AT ALL TIMES! AT ALL TIMES! ESPECAILLY WHEN YOU’RE NURSING A ONE-GOAL LEAD IN STOPPAGE TIME! HOWARD DEAN SCREAM! I think I handled that well.

David Horst, 5 Had a couple moments when he wasn’t communicating very well with the midfield in front of him, but on the whole didn’t play poorly. It is telling that the defense was much better when he was on the pitch.

Eric Brunner, 5.5 He gets a good share of the credit for Goldie’s goal for playing a really nice header into the box. That said, he was largely culpable for New York’s second goal—as his marking on Henry there was less than inspired.

Jeremy Hall, 5 Was the only back that really wasn’t on the culpable end of any of New York’s goals, which is an accomplishment I guess. Unfortunately didn’t create that much coming forward, either. Overall a decent, if unspectacular outing.

Darlington Nagbe, 5 Had the quietest day of anybody in the midfield. Had a couple nice runs into the interior, but struggled to create anything truly dangerous.

Diego Chara, 4.5 Hung back a bit more than usual, but for good reason. Jack was awesome in front of him. Diego was exposed on defense a couple times, namely on the first goal where he should have cut out the cross.

Jack Jewsbury, 6.5 A goal, an assist, and a number of other nice plays. The second half was the most we have seen Jewsbury get forward since the arrival of Diego and, I have to admit, I liked what I saw. Beautiful strike from distance. And yes, I docked him a point for missing the penalty.

Kalif Alhassan, 5.5 Had another pretty nice night on the right side. I think that is his new home. Did a good job of creating a bit, and linked up with the forwards well.

Jorge Perlaza, 6 I had a really hard time with this grade. He creates chances so well…and so far has finished them so poorly. There were extended periods of the second half when he was running wild in the Red Bulls defense. I will say this, if he ever finds his finishing touch—which I think probably just requires a bit more willingness to take a crack on goal—he will be a Best XI quality striker. Point is, Jorge, you’re a striker. Be selfish.

Kenny Cooper, 5.5 He must lead the league in nullified goals. I can count four. One against Chicago, two against D.C., and one on Sunday. Did I miss any? Aside from the rightly nullified goal, Kenny had a nice game in getting the ball at his feet and making something happen with it. There has been a fair amount to complain about with Kenny this year, but I don’t think his performance on Sunday is in that category.

Kevin Goldthwaite, 5 This is another one that is tough. Before the game I mentioned to those that I was at the game with that Portland is one defensive heartbeat away from Kevin Goldthwaite seeing the pitch. And then David Horst got taken out by Sutton in the box. But then Goldie scored the best goal a Timber has converted to date with a clever back heel. I was mocked. And then Goldie pulled a Goldie and failed to clear what should have been a routine ball at the end of stoppage time. I was vindicated. I hope either Horst’s head or Futty’s shoulder improve in short order. The goal— while nice—was a fluke. The defensive miscue, as we know all too well, was not.

Sal Zizzo, 5.5 I thought Sallie looked decent on the right side in relief of Darlington. He didn’t have a ton of opportunities, but when he did he was making the right passes.

Adam Moffat, INC The box score tells me he played. I’m not convinced.

Onward, Rose City!

Ok, here's the deal:

If you're not yet familiar, Sunday Parkways has become a Portland summer tradition. The city shuts down a 6-mile or so loop of neighborhood streets to motor vehicles and the surrounding community takes to the streets to party. This happens in a different neighborhood each month.

People ride bikes, walk, run, skateboard, eat, drink, and dance. There's live music, games for kids in the parks...everyone has a smile on their face.

However, doing something like this requires large amounts of volunteers!

We had such a great time when we took the TA trailer to some of the Sunday Parkways events last year that we decided to do it again! So, who wants to help us?

What: North Portland Sunday Parkways

When: June 26th, 11am-4pm

Where: Info and map of route here

(Exact location of volunteers coming soon!)

Your task (if you choose to volunteer) will be:

To stand at an intersection - we'll have a few in a row so you can mingle with fellow supporters - and wave to kids and other passersby. Also, you'll help route car traffic around/through the event. I've been told we are highly encouraged to "Timbers up" these intersections; i.e. crest chalked on the ground, music (green is the color?), flags, scarves, a bit of street soccer, etc... make it yours!

What's in it for you?

• A free t-shirt (WoopWoop!)
• Free snacks and drinks on the day of the event provided by sponsors
• The chance to rep the TA, the 107ist and the Timbers
• You get to hang out with new Timbers friends
• The warm glow of doing something good in and for your community!

How to register to volunteer:

• You'll want to go to the Sunday Parkways Website to fill out a volunteer registration form.
• Then click on the Sign up to VOLUNTEER NOW! button.
• On the next page you'll have to choose a volunteer position. Sign up as an Intersection Superhero for Arbor Lodge Park.
• Alternatively, you can rep the TA by being a Mobile Superhero on your bike for Arbor Lodge Park - which is like being an Intersection Superhero, but involves monitoring several intersections by bike
• Then select either the early (10:00am-1:30pm) shift or the afternoon (12:45pm-4:30pm) shift. We plan to be there all day so the choice is yours!
• Click on 'register' to get to the next page, which is an Eventbrite form, and complete all the info required.
• At the very bottom of the Eventbrite form, it asks 'If you are volunteering with a Company or Organization, which one?' enter Timbers Army here to ensure that you get to hang out near other TA whilst volunteering.
• Note: You'll need to complete some online training if you haven't volunteered with Sunday Parkways before.
• Please also let us know that you've signed up by replying in the comments of this post , then we can get an idea of how many TA will be helping on this fun event

How to come hang out and look cool and not have to volunteer:

If you don't have time for the whole event, just want to hang out, are planning on riding the route with your family, etc., come anyway! You can stay for as long as you like, and leave when you like. The more, the merrier. Spread the love, and all.

If you want to volunteer, please do, but if you don't have time or are unable to commit, don't let that keep you from coming along to see what it's all about on the day.

SERIOUS BUSINESS ALCOHOL POLICY

The official policy we have been asked to pass along is that alcohol consumption while volunteering is forbidden. We were also definitely not told anything about consuming before the shift starts, or about only drinking what appeared to be a coke while hanging out in the warm sun... not told anything like that at all. But seriously, think of the children.

Questions are welcomed. Email: joe.wilson@107ist.org

Hope to see you there!

If you live in this neighborhood please come help us out... Represent!

—by Andrew brawley

Even though it’s in the state of Texas, it’s pretty hard to hate on the city of Dallas right now. After all, their basketball team’s defeat of the Big 3 in the NBA Finals might have actually saved small-market teams such as our beloved Blazers, not to mention in pretty much all of North American professional sports. Plus, it’s only a four hour drive from Austin, which is often referred to as Portland South.

Since I haven’t been to Dallas in over five years, I’ve enlisted the help of a TA transplant. Rene Siracusa has been banished there for a few years, and has kindly chipped in some logic for those traveling to Texas for the Timbers’ match there this Saturday. Texas does not often cater to the thin-skinned, progressive minded folk we’ve come to be. So heed this advice, or risk getting slathered in barbecue sauce and nibbled on by the locals (actually, that might not be the worst thing ever).

Take it away, Rene (all day, OK, old bay…so much rhyming!).

• Dallas has two airports. Dallas-Ft. Worth on the west side, and Love Field on the south-east side. Both are equally far (25 to 30 miles) from Frisco, Texas, where Pizza Hut Park is located. Know which airport you’re going to, and how to get around from there.
• Once you get outside of Dallas proper, it is almost nothing but toll roads. Carpooling and singles are recommended. I still don't know how in the hell I'm going to get from the bus station to Frisco.
• Weather in Dallas area is usually a dry heat and at this time of year will be near 100. If it rains it will become humid as hell and will feel like you're breathing through a wet blanket. Bring clothes that are breathable. Bonus points for anything in red, white and blue.
• Buy an all-purpose bug bite cream/ointment/salve immediately upon arriving in Texas. There are bugs down here that the creams sold up north are not able to handle.
• It’s all suburban type stuff in Frisco, so if you need small-batch brewed coffee, you’re better off back in Dallas.
• If you’re looking for fun after the game, you’ll probably want to head back to Dallas for the night. It's ridiculous how much stuff there is to do there, as opposed to Frisco.
• Don't be surprised if you come across someone with a gun. Unless it's actually pointed at somebody. Many people here have a concealed weapons license. Yes, it should be concealed, but sometimes clothes slip out of place. Don't freak out.
• Don't start a political conversation unless you know you all voted for the same guy.
• People from Louisiana are very hard to understand sometimes, should you come across any during your stay in Texas. It's easier to understand a French person speaking English than it is to understand a Louisianian speaking English sometimes. Just nod in agreement, smile and move on.

If you have Internet, you can follow Rene Siracusa on Twitter.

Portland Timbers U23 try to end an unprecedented two-game losing streak tomorrow night against the Tacoma Tide. Kickoff is 7pm, Saturday June 18, at Kiggins Bowl in Vancouver — that's the Vancouver just over the river, not the one with the sexy hockey riots.

Ryan Kawulok scores one of his hat trick of goals during last year's contest at Kiggins Bowl, a 6-0 victory over Yakima Reds (Photo by Allison Andrews, SoccerCityUSA.com)

The kiddos had a rough road trip in BC last weekend, losing on consecutive nights to Abbotsford Mariners and Vancouver Whitecaps Residency. Come give them your support in American Vancouver and help end this franchise-record losing streak! Tickets are $8, with a portion of the proceeds benefiting host youth soccer club Vancouver United.

For those looking for a pregame taste, the Dublin Down Irish Pub (813 Main Street) is just over the river in downtown The Couve, where the TA West Van Crew have been doing their thing for a few years now. I've been there once, for an off-season gathering a couple years ago, and I can attest they've got good taps, corned beef and cabbage, and are very TA friendly. Also the night I was there the band was the same one from Wayne's World, with Tia Carrere. Why would I make this up?

Thursday is Thursday. Here is your round up. Not included are the riots from Vancouver B.C. last night...and you thought Canadians were nice. They sure fooled you didn't they?

Dropping Timber has some post game interviews with some players and video of John Spencer's post game press conference up that some of you might find interesting.

Stumptown Footy has some speculation about the upcoming summer transfer window. Mostly it focuses on Gavin's mystery trip to Germany.

The Timbers Insider podcast is up. Have a listen!

This guy joined Twitter. It could get interesting if he keeps it up.

Good day to you all.

Not much news today but here's what is out there.

Jack Jewsbury is on the MLS All-Star ballot and if anyone from our team deserves to go it's him.

John Strong's Talk Timbers show from last night on 750 The Game has posted. 

Some very interesting analysis from Slide Rule Pass. Turns out the Timbers aren't so great at finishing games.

Today wasn't much for news. I've pulled together what I could and we'll go from there.

Kip Kesgard has a weekend wrap up over at the Oregonlive Timbers blog.

Futty seems to hope he'll be back sooner rather than later from his shoulder injury suffered on Saturday against Colorado.

In this week's completely arbitrary power rankings the Timbers are apparently in free fall.

Stumptown Footy has some bit about the possibility of MLS taking control of the 2nd division. Before anyone starts talking about it I'm just going to say that we will not see promotion/relegation happening in this country in the next 20 years. Period.

Good day to you all.

Long weekend and disappointing result. One thing I learned is that opposing teams love playing in front of us. Couldn't believe we never bothered singing, "what's it like to see a crowd," to Colorado.

Chris Rifer has another excellent match report up.

Timber Joey made a commercial for Alaskan Airlines. So did John Spencer. I think I have to give the edge to Spenny. What do you think?

Good day to you all.

—by Chris Rifer

Okay, this is starting to get serious. The Timbers again fell on Saturday night, this time in heartbreaking fashion at the end of an entertaining, competitive match.

In many ways on Saturday night, the Timbers played some of the best soccer they have all year. The passing was at times exhilarating and the defense was dominant—at least until second half stoppage. And yet, at the final whistle the result only furthered a three-week stretch without a point.

The match started off in promising fashion for the Timbers. After some very early pressure by Colorado, the Timbers showed some creativity and passing flare that Portland hasn’t seen to date. Flipping Kalif Alhassan and Darlington Nagbe on the wings proved successful, as the combination of Jeremy Hall, Kalif, and Diego Chara had several clinical displays of sharp distribution and creativity. Meanwhile, on the left side Nagbe looked as dangerous as he has all year.

Throughout the match, the Timbers defense looked equally dominant. While Colorado was able to get some shots off—including a fair few on goal— those efforts were largely found from distance. While the Rapids showed some danger from outside the box, Troy Perkins was game.

Portland couldn’t seem to find frame with many of their efforts, however, and even when they did Colorado netminder Matt Pickens was up to the task— stopping dangerous looking efforts off the foot of Darlington Nagbe and the head of Kenny Cooper.

While the first half was played on relatively even terms, the second half seemed to turn decisively in the Timbers favor. While Portland didn’t quite have the passing flare that they showed in the first frame, in the second half the Timbers pinned possession in Colorado’s defending end for extended periods.

Every dangerous moment that came, however, was met with disappointment. Pickens parried Cooper’s pretty bouncing volley just wide. When Jorge Perlaza beat Pickens he couldn’t send a cross in cleanly and Cooper couldn’t turn the ball into the open net. Ryan Pore sent a header tragically wide, and in the waning moments Pore sent the potential miraculous equalizer over the bar.

Disappointment turned into heartbreak in stoppage time. After a soft foul set up a Rapid free kick on the left wing, Jamie Smith sent a ball in that was nodded down. Again, though, Troy Perkins was able to keep the ball out of net. A scrum ensued at the mouth of the goal. Another shot. Another Perkins save. Finally, after David Horst couldn’t clear the ball out of the box, Drew Moor delivered the fatal blow.

Despite a promising effort, the Timbers once again come away from Jeld-Wen Field empty handed. The loss is the Timbers’ third in a row—and puts Portland’s playoff chances firmly on the ropes.

Match Observations

• It was nice to see a good contingent from Colorado come out for the match. It was terrible to see them leave so happy, but they again showed their class in passionately supporting their side and then unfurling a large “Thank You, PDX” banner after the match. Jeff Larentowicz, on the other hand, is no longer welcome in the State of Oregon.
• You know, this season is starting to feel a bit like a game of Whack-A-Mole. Just as the Timbers solve one problem, another pops up. First the Timbers struggle with slow starts. They fix that, but then look shaky to finish matches. Then the defense goes MIA. That gets fixed, but all of a sudden they can’t score in the run of play. Just when that appears to be remedied, but then the Timbers can’t link up more than a pass or two at a time. Portland solves that, but then they can’t hit the target when they do create opportunities. I guess the glass-half-full supporter would see this as a positive—the Timbers still have a halfway decent record and really haven’t hit on all cylinders yet. One problem: How many glass-half-full supporters are out there right now?
• The summer transfer window is approaching, and the Timbers have some decisions to make. They have space on the payroll for another major signing, but the question is where to look to upgrade. The offense seems to need the most help right now, but who do you replace? I have no quarrel with how Jorge Perlaza has acquitted himself—and expect he will only get better as he gets more comfortable. While Cooper has been disappointing at times, he is still relatively young, the Timbers are paying him a lot of money, and Portland already has a bevy of forwards on the roster. Both Kalif Alhassan and Darlington Nagbe are very young, need pitch time, and have shown flashes of brilliance. My guess? I think we look for an outside back—probably on the right side. This is no knock on Jeremy Hall, but I think he fits better with this team as a super sub—a guy the Timbers can bring on either the right or left side of the defense or midfield. That said, how much would the addition of an outside back help this team? I’m really not sure.

Timbers Grades

Troy Perkins, 6.5 The guy is just a stud. His defense played better in front of him on Saturday, but Colorado still found ways to test him. Even on the run up to the goal he made two great saves.

Rodney Wallace, 5 Pretty nondescript outing from Rod. Had a few times when he got forward, and I liked that he fancied himself from distance, but otherwise was pretty quiet. Oh, and the hopeless long ball forward to nobody in particular is officially the Rod Wallace Special.

Futty, 5 Sounds like his shoulder is going to be alright. From the way they were holding his arm on the way off the pitch and the prognosis, it looks like a separation or dislocation. Usually not a big deal, although easy to reinjure.

Eric Brunner, 6 I’m on record as liking Brunner. The difference between the defense on Saturday and the defense against Chivas was, to say the least, substantial. Not a fan of the wispy beard, though.

Jeremy Hall, 5.5 A little bit of standing around on the heartbreaking goal, but when he, Kalif, and Diego got the ball moving on the right side it was downright electric.

Darlington Nagbe, 5.5 I like him on that left side. Right now he’s not a guy that plays off another player on the wing that well, so it makes sense to have him on the left side and Kalif on the right so he can play off of Hall.

Jack Jewsbury, 4.5 Sort of a disappointing night for Captain Jack. Had a mishit or two on set pieces and played with a little more anonymity in the midfield than I would like to see. He does get some credit, though, for an overall solid performance by the Timbers midfield.

Diego Chara, 6 Gets credit for stacking up well with the Larentowicz/Mastroeni combination in the midfield. His passing is outstanding. You can tell there are still just a couple communication and familiarity issues lingering, as there were a couple broken runs, but at this point I’m very pleased with his performance.

Kalif Alhassan, 5.5 After a wretched match against Chivas we saw a little bit of the old Kalif on Saturday. Looked comfortable on that left side, and I continue to like it when he gets cheeky and tries to chip the keeper. It would be nice if he put one on frame, though.

Kenny Cooper, 0.5 His play on the pitch earned him a 5.5. Saw a bit more work ethic out of Cooper than we saw against Chivas and had two great efforts snuffed out by Pickens. Cooper gets deducted 5 points, however, for having dinner with Drew Moor after the match. Old friends be damned. Coop can get his 5 points back if he can prove that he (a) ordered the most expensive thing on the menu; and (b) made Moor pay for it. I’m kidding. Mostly.

Jorge Perlaza, 5.5 See Ryan Pore’s grade for the explanation.

David Horst, 5.5 Had a nice outing in relief of the injured Futty. He may not be a feature central back, but he has proven himself to be a more than capable Robin to Brunner’s Batman. Hold on, Futty is Robin to Brunner’s Batman. Okay, then Horst is Alfred to Futty’s Robin to Brunner’s Batman. Got it?

Sal Zizzo, 5 This substitution was all about not wanting to push Darlington too hard too fast. Eventually the reins are going to come off Baby D. When that happens, it will be interesting to see what happens to Sallie.

Ryan Pore, 4 Okay, so this grade is partly for Pore and partly for John Spencer. Ryan needs to do better with his opportunities. He was served two golden opportunities and failed to put either on frame. Mostly, though, I thought this was a poor substitution. With Perlaza on the field, the Colorado defense had to respect his ability to make his signature runs. This made the Colorado backline sit back a bit more and opened up some space in the midfield for Chara, Kalif, and company to operate. When Pore came on for Perlaza, the midfield became substantially more congested—resulting in a final 10 minutes where the Timbers struggled to make a push for the winner.

Onward, Rose City!