—by Chris Rifer
Friday afternoon, as some Timbers supporters were preparing – perhaps bracing – for Saturday’s match against league leaders Sporting KC, Gavin Wilkinson was busy beginning the process of shaking up the roster.
Portland sent either a 2013 second round pick or a 2013 international roster spot[1] to Montreal for former Sounder Mike Fucito. After being left unprotected in the expansion draft, Fucito went to Montreal along with Lamar Neagle in a trade bringing Eddie Johnson to Seattle.[2]
At first glance, the trade for Portland is a curious one. Why another striker?
The answer must be that a striker is about to be shipped out via trade. With the Timbers already three-deep at striker with Kris Boyd, Darlington Nagbe, and Jorge Perlaza,[3] a trade for another attacking player of the quality who demands playing time would make no sense unless somebody was on the way out.
In other words, it’s been fun, Jorge. With Boyd and Nagbe being the Timbers primary source of goals this year, it’s inconceivable that either of them could be setting sail. The logical choice, then, in for Perlaza to go. But where? And for what?
Glad you asked. Let’s speculate.[4]
The first step is to look at who might be interested. There are several teams that have been struggling to produce goals early on. You would have to think that any trade partner would be one of them.
The table suggests Vancouver might be interested, having only scored 5 goals in six matches, but if anybody has more of a logjam at striker than PTFC it’s the Caps. So, it won’t be Vancouver. Montreal can be similarly dismissed. If Perlaza were to be going to Impact it probably would have happened already – you know, like today.
So we leave Canada – for the moment – and head to New England. Between Saer Sene and Jose Moreno they, too, seem to have the striker position tenuously locked down. Our next stop takes us to Houston, where the options are plenty but not terribly good. Perlaza really isn’t the solution to that problem, and PTFC should be a little wary of the Dynamo after the last bill of goods they bought from them,[5] so we’ll two step out of Texas.
Chivas USA can’t be the destination as geriatrics Juan Pablo Angel and Alejandro Moreno, along with youngsters Casey Townsend and Cesar Romero would seemingly put the Goats out of the market. Similarly, Chicago’s recent signing of Chris Rolfe would seem to put out the Fire.
So that leaves three legitimate options; Philadelphia, Columbus, and Toronto.
Of those three, Philly is the first to be eliminated. If Peter Nowak wanted a quick striker who struggled with his first touch and was an inconsistent finisher, he would play Danny Mwanga more. Plus, they have more than a half dozen other semi-options at striker. So, there will be no brotherly love for Jorge.
Alright, then how about Toronto? They have a dearth of offense at the moment and a load of allocation money from making CCL. Indeed, Toronto would seem like a bona fide option for Jorge. But does Perlaza really fit in Aaron Winter’s system? And when Danny Kovermans is healthy they have the Dutchman, the unspectacular Ryan Johnson, and Joao Plata up front – two of whom they have been eagerly selling to their desperately frustrated fanbase. So, while Toronto has some specious allure, I would be slightly surprised to see Jorge end up there.
Which leads us to my prediction for Jorge’s next home. Jorge, welcome to beautiful Columbus, Ohio.[6] Let’s face it, the clean-shaven crew are just a mess up front. They have a couple interesting pieces for the future in Ethan Finlay and Ben Speas, but really nobody that can reliably open up space for Emilio Renteria. And Tommy Heinemann is just a vastly inappropriate player to feature on a club sponsored by Barbasol. Last week they threw out a strikeforce of Aaron Schoenfeld and Olman Vargas. So they have a need.
Perlaza is also a great fit for Columbus’s system,[7] where they like to play pretty direct and look to pick Renteria out in the box. Jorge’s delectable pace would be perfect to open up seams in the box and set Renteria up in front of goal. What’s coming back? Allocation money. Are you kidding me? There’s nothing on Columbus that is going to fix the fullbacle[8] the Timbers must immediately remedy.
So there it is, Jorge Perlaza to Columbus for allocation money. That allocation money – along with the $38,000 difference between Fucito and Eddie Johnson’s salaries and the savings from moving Perlaza off the books – will be spent on an international fullback. Who will that be? Come on, even I have standards high enough to not speculate that much.
Onward, Rose City!
[1] Is there any way Montreal doesn’t take the roster spot? That’s like handing somebody a Cup Noodles and asking them if they would prefer a spork or a laser printer to eat it with.
[2] The way this is shaking out, this trade looks bad for both Montreal and Seattle. Trading Fucito for pennies is a bit of a white flag on Montreal’s part, and Eddie Johnson has barely seen the pitch in Seattle any more than he has anywhere else in the last two years.
[3] To intentionally say nothing of Bright Dike.
[4] Is this entire column built off the massive assumption that Perlaza is on his way out the door? Yes. Does that bother me at all? No. Should it bother you? Maybe.
[5] Namely, Lovel Palmer.
[6] Sorry. I would have loved to be able to send Jorge someplace nicer.
[7] This is all to say nothing of the fantastically maddening number of times people around the league would misspell Columbus and Colombia.
[8] Fullbacle, noun – 1) an utter debacle at the fullback position in soccer; e.g., the 2012 Portland Timbers.
