We eat children (clap clap clap clap clap) We eat children. By that I mean the Orlando City U-23s. Orlando City's kids had some good moments but for the most part the Timbers handled it like professionals. It was a nice showing for Orlando City's U-23s and they should feel good about their performance. The Lion Cubs could have likely grabbed at least one goal but were also lucky to not give up a few more.
I'm not here to write a match report. I leave those to our resident clown, Chris Rifer. I am just the resident curmudgeon/opinionated person. In the interest of keeping it cordial I'm just here to say a few things.
#1 Welcome back Rodney Wallace!!! Boy howdy do we need Warrior 22 back out there. #bangbang
FYI this was created by a group of us walking through the mean streets of Kansas City a day or two before our match down there last year. Pappy Van Winkle and the Caddyshack were not involved in anything that happened that night.
I don't know about you
But I'm feeling 22
Everything will be alright
With RodWall next to you
We'll fight for our team
The Warrior will too
Everything will be alright
If he just keeps playing like he's
22, ooh-ooh
22, ooh-ooh
#2 So the US Open Cup happened other places. Over the last little bit. Since the clowns at US Soccer don't actually have a website where you can get up to date results someone else made one. Here is the link. Since nobody pays them to update it daily here is another website with actual up to date results. Highlights DC United, the defending champs, getting knocked out by the Microsoft clip art badged Rochester Raging Rhinos, Atlanta besting Royal Salt Lake...oh sorry Real Salt Lake, the New York Cosmos making the New York Red Bulls look much like they will for the next few decades, an afterthought, and finally Colorado stomping on the actual Orlando City Lions. By that I mean the adult team that is paid to play not the college kids the Timbers beat.
#3 We get the winner of Kansas City/Minnesota tomorrow. We host KC if they come (damn the schedulers I want to go back to eat their delicious BBQ so bad) and the boys fly to Minnesota to play if Minnesota United wins. It would sort of be like USL days. We'll all spend half the match with a projector saying the computer is buffering. If you weren't around you have no idea what I'm talking about but if you were then you're nodding in acknowledgement. I fully expect #bufferingaway to be the trending hashtag if that happens.
#4 MLS teams are clearly again not taking this tournament seriously. This is a great opportunity for the team to grab some silverware. The Timbers are better than they have shown this year. Our offense is clicking and hopefully they have some fixes for the defensive lapses that have been our downfall shortly.
#5 I'm not Chris Rifer so I will offer no more insight. I'm just kind of like Canzano in that I just have an opinion and will share it regardless of qualifications to have an opinion on certain subjects. It's the American way and since the World Cup AMERICA FUCK YEAH!
#6 Tetris is for closers. Please don't complain about this chant not being done anymore. It happens when we win. I shouldn't have to explain how stupid it is when we're down or how it is when we do it and the team promptly surrenders a goal. Tetris is for closers. This will also get me blasted but honestly I can't begin to explain how dumb it looks after the end of this chant when people start applauding themselves for the performance they've just put on. You aren't there for you. You're there for what is going on on the field. The focus is what happens on the pitch.
Good talk again. I'm out.
