—by Chris Rifer

Leg one of the MLS Cup Playoffs Conference Semifinals was not kind to home teams. After the first two days of action, all four semis look to be virtually locked up as three teams now have to go on the road to dig out of holes and one – much to the delight of supporters of the mighty PTFC – heads home with quite a mountain to climb.

As I watched a couple of the matches on Sunday, though, I was reminded why I love the first leg of aggregate goals series – they almost always yield some of the most entertaining attacking soccer you will see. In many situations in leg two, one team will go into a shell looking to protect their spoils from the previous match. Leg one, however, is usually no holds barred. Home teams play with a certain desperation knowing they need to come away with a lead to have a legitimate chance at the series. Away teams play with the hunger of knowing if they can force across one goal – even in a close loss or a draw – they can give themselves a big leg up heading home for the return match. The result is often some genuinely beautiful play.

Real Salt Lake – 3, Seattle Sounders FC – 0

In the most lopsided match of the weekend, Real Salt Lake dominated the Sounders on a chilly evening in Salt Lake City. The Sounders looked overmatched in every single phase of the game, with perhaps their best opportunity coming off of an errant Alvaro Fernandez cross that skidded off the bar.

RSL wasn’t lacking for opportunities, however, as Alvaro Saborio logged 40^th and 52^nd minute goals to put the Claret and Cobalt up two. The Costa Rican poached the first from teammate Chris Wingert, as he redirected Wingert’s goal-bound slot even more securely into the net from a dubiously onside position.

If his first was a bit cheap, his second more than made up for it with class. After Javier Morales sent in a dangerous cross from the right wing, Saborio reached across the on-looking Jeff Parke with his right foot and flicked the ball behind Parke’s back to the far post.

But for the efforts of Kasey Keller, this one could have been even bloodier. While Keller made several stops, none were more dramatic than that in the 47^th minute. First, Keller deflected Robbie Russell’s hard shot from distance. The rebound fell to Morales, but Keller dove to parry his point-blank effort away before Andy Williams’ final effort sailed over the bar.

Keller couldn’t single-handedly keep Seattle in this one, however, as Ned Grabavoy’s 88th minute shot deflected off of Brad Evans, past Keller and into the net.

The lopsided loss likely puts a nail in the coffin of Seattle’s season and Kasey Keller’s league cup-less career. The Xboxers now head back to the Clink needing a miracle to avoid the label of postseason choke artists.

Red Bull New York – 0, Los Angeles Galaxy – 1

A 15^th minute goal from Mike Magee was all the L.A. Galaxy needed to top the Jersey-based Red Bulls.  After David Beckham sent a long chip forward, the Red Bull defense relaxed, confident that Robbie Keane would be flagged for offside. Keane, however, wasn’t involved in the play, as Magee – the midfielder and emergency goalkeeper – slotted the ball far post past the observant Frank Rost.

Thereafter, with an away goal and confidence of their own superiority in hand, the Galaxy were happy to sit back and weather whatever the identity-less Red Bulls threw their way. USL Timbers alumnus Josh Saunders came up with a number of class saves, most notably a 49^th minute denial of Joel Lindpere’s goal-bound shot. Ultimately that was enough to secure Galaxy the 1-0 victory, taking a huge advantage back to L.A.

The fireworks weren’t over, though, as just after the final whistle renowned whiner Rafa Marquez showed his boyish immaturity again by throwing the ball at Landon Donovan. Marquez would throw a punch in the direction of Adam Cristman, who confronted Marquez before Stephen Keel would catch an apparently errant Juninho elbow in the mouth. Neither Juninho nor Marquez will appear in the second leg as a result of red cards issued. With luck, that toss and punch will mark the end of Rafa Marquez’s embarrassing MLS career.

Philadelphia Union – 1, Houston Dynamo – 2

The Houston Dynamo are perhaps the league’s hottest team, and by far the East’s best hope to knock off the West’s juggernauts. They showed it in Portland earlier this month, and they showed it again Saturday afternoon in Phily.

In the 5^th minute Andre Hainault found the end of a Brad Davis set piece and nodded it past Faryd Mondragon for the opener. Characteristic of a first half that was among the most entertaining soccer you will see, though, the Union would pull level just two minutes later when Sebastien Le Toux one-timed a feed over the top from Michael Farfan past Tally Hall.

Houston wasn’t done, however, as Calen Carr got on the end of a searching ball with a beautiful run and knocked it past a stranded Mondragon. With two road goals and a lead in hand, Houston was happy to play out the final hour. With eight orange shirts often behind the ball, the Union struggled to create anything that would wash the bitter taste out of the mouths of those in the River End.

Colorado Rapids – 0, Sporting KC – 2

Baldomero Toledo was the referee of this match, so you know we’re going to talk about the officiating. More on that in a second.

Whereas the other matches in the first leg provided early excitement, the Bulldog Supporters were treated to a dud of a first half. While Colorado had the better of the play early on, they couldn’t create anything of note.

In the 49th minute, however, Teal Bunbury leaked out of the midfield, took a Julio Cesar pass and slotted it past Matt Pickens for the opener.

Enter Toledo. After Tyrone Marshall lost track of Bunbury, the youngster collected a pass in the box and appeared to swerve into the path of the trailing Marshall and fall to the ground. Toledo quickly pointed at the spot and showed Marshall a straight red card. Bunbury rolled the penalty past Pickens for the two-goal advantage that Sporting would never concede.

The penalty and red card are both points of debate. From my view, Bunbury made the most of contact that he largely created by playing the ball into Marshall’s path. That said, Marshall is certainly at fault for putting himself in that position with some straight up awful defending. The red card, then, comes automatically by rule as Toldeo adjudged Marshall to have committed a foul that stopped a clear goal-scoring opportunity. I don’t like the referee’s judgment or the rule, but they combined to form a mountain for the ‘Pids to climb.

MLS playoffs got you down? Check out some Over 30 Division 2 soccer. Delta Park is lovely this time of year.

In a largely rain-soaked game that featured one team loaning two players to the other team to make a legal squad, during which one guy inexplicably played wearing pants and a completely different color shirt than his teammates, Ricky, as in the Father of the Suns of Ricky, scored the winner for Portland Griffons today. Pic cuz it happened:

Welcome to the first of what I hope will be an interesting feature highlighting the adventures of the various Timbers Army Football Clubs playing in the Greater Portland Soccer District leagues.  I was asked to provide this weekly update to the 107ist membership to help spur interest in TAFC matches and highlight accomplishments in their respective weekly fixtures.  As one of the team that blogs about the Timbers for Oregonlive.com on a regular basis, I’m used to sifting through tons of information to provide recaps.  As a defender and midfielder for TAFC since the first season, however, I look at the new initiative with the TAFC club umbrella with pride because I think it is another wonderful idea created by the 107st in their overall mission to provide support to soccer within the region at any level.

This weekly post will recap the exploits of the four Timbers Army specific football clubs that are currently in season.  We do realize there are many teams that have Timbers Army members, but the four clubs currently in the umbrella of Timbers Army FC were all formed amongst TA that wanted to play soccer with their fellow supporters while being ambassadors for the Army within the soccer community.  In future updates, I hope to talk more about new TA clubs being formed as well as highlight those TA that play for other clubs regionally.

The current makeup of clubs includes the original Timbers Army Football Club formed in 2008 which has been a staple of GPSD Division 4 since its inception.  The team will be renamed for the Winter 2012 term and promises to honor the heritage of being the inaugural club created for Timbers Army members within GPSD.  FC Portlandia was created during the Winter 2008 term from former members of TAFC, and they have achieved great on the pitch success in advancing to GPSD Division 2 where they currently reside while also being fashionable in purple.  They’ve also represented the Timbers Army in matches played against the Emerald City Supporters from the land where we do not speak their name.

North End United joined the fray in 2009 after an extremely successful first version of a supporter’s cup, playing the Timbers Army FC during Thanksgiving Weekend in 2008.  As with TAFC, there are plenty of age ranges represented with NEU and they’ve achieved promotion a few times to higher divisions in GPSD, but they currently reside in Division 4.  The new kids on the block are Rose City Athletic, joining GPSD Division 4 in the spring of 2011 and have enjoyed some memorable wins in their short history.  They also wear the Timbers’ newest color of Rose City red, keeping with the long tradition of Timbers Army Football clubs being extremely fashion forward.

This weekend’s matches were highlighted by depleted rosters due to travel to Salt Lake City, and a derby match between TAFC and NEU played under spectacular fall weather.  Let’s start our recap by looking at FC Portlandia who played GDST Young Boys at Oregon City High School.  Having played them twice before and winning each time, the boys in purple kept their winning streak alive with a 6 to 1 win behind an Anthony O’Reilly hat trick.  FC Portland sits in third place in the Division 2 standings, and has a key battle this weekend against their old rivals the Marmots.  Match time is 4:00 PM on Sunday, October 30^th at Cleveland High School.

Rose City Athletic had one of the early matches in Division 4, playing host to BDFC at Delta Park.  While they had a full club with substitutes available, the club struggled with their form and passing and allowed BDFC to secure a 4 to 1 win.  The lone RCA goal was scored by Bryan Boen, and the club hopes to rebound from their loss this weekend with a match against South VN at Delta Park #6 at 2:00 PM.  RCA currently resides in fifth place in the Division 4 table, hoping to jump up on the table.

The final match highlighting the Timbers Army clubs was a derby between two long standing rivals, North End United and the soon to be renamed TAFC.  Both clubs featured depleted rosters because of travel, but they were able to get enough players ready to have a full starting eleven.  Behind a Marcus Nelson hat trick and some really wicked goals by his teammates, North End United defeated TAFC 7 to 2 in a friendly, well played match.  Eben Crawford notched a brace for TAFC with two unassisted goals, but TAFC was done in by a lack of subs and the overall speed of NEU.  I should know this after spending most of match trying to chase Marcus, Allen, Rem, and any number of other players in their attack.

NEU resumes their schedule on October 30 with a 2 PM match against Deacon Blue at Delta Park #7; Deacon Blue is one of the many GPSD clubs with a large Timbers Army contingent that is not currently within the TAFC structure.  TAFC travels out to the Washington County Fairgrounds for a date with Ronler Hacres at 12 noon on October 30.  In the current table, NEU sits in third place with 13 points, 4 wins and 2 draws, while TAFC has avoided the winless donut with a 1 win, 6 loss record and 3 points, but they have some winnable fixtures forthcoming.

—by Chris Rifer

The juxtaposition between Saturday night and March 19^th tells the story of the season. In the season opener, the Timbers showed how far they had to go. In the finale they showed how far they had come. No, it wasn’t a flawless performance on Saturday, but it was inspired, gritty, and ultimately successful.

On paper, the Timbers had nothing to pay for on Saturday. In fact, they had a lot not to play for. At stake were two spots in the SuperDraft, a host of allocation money, and positioning in several of MLS’s myriad player acquisition mechanisms. With so much to gain for the future, what is the significance of a few meaningless points to finish the season?

A lot, as it turns out.

For the first 45 minutes Portland outworked RSL, but failed to create much in the way of goal-scoring opportunities. All too often Portland seemed eager to take a hopeful crack from distance rather than see the build-up through to the finish.

The gulf of quality on the field showed from time to time, as Portland struggled to fully contain Alvaro Saborio and RSL’s attack. Despite being pinned down on a couple occasions, Portland weathered the storm and established themselves as no pushover despite the presumptive disparity in quality and motivation.

Just as it appeared Portland would escape into halftime at a scoreless draw, Fabian Espindola found Saborio with a beautiful ball coming out of the midfield. Saborio beat Futty to it and looped the ball over Troy Perkins after the Portland keeper came halfway out in a rare showing of indecision. In a first half that had been played on relatively level terms, it was a sucker punch going into intermission.

Unlike so many times before, however, Portland wouldn’t back down after the initial blow was struck. The Timbers responded with increasing intensity as the match became more physical in the second half.

Portland appeared to have set up the equalizer in the 55^th minute after Chris Wingert—already on a yellow card—handled a ball in the box. Wingert avoided being sent off—surely to Kalif Alhassan’s incredulous jealousy—but the Timbers were awarded the penalty. Jack Jewsbury, however, in the midst of a cold spell on the score sheet, sent the effort high off the crossbar, leading Will Johnson to jump in his face in taunting celebration.

This should have been the Timbers death knell. But again the Timbers refused to yield— apparently determined to play to the final whistle of the season.

Real, however, would hold the lead well into the night. In the 89^th minute they almost salted the match away after a miscommunication between Perkins and Eric Brunner allowed Saborio to try to chip the ball into the net again. This time, however, the ball would glance off the post amidst the confusion in front of goal.

Portland would punish RSL’s inability to put the match on ice two minutes later. After Brian Umony collected the ball on the right wing he sent it in toward Bright Dike in the box. Dike couldn’t get a deflection on the ball, however, as RSL keeper Nick Rimando did well to break up the play. The ball got through, however, and waiting far post was Futty who slotted the ball into the open net.

The result was the first one that the Timbers have earned at the death this year. There have been plenty of disappointments late in matches since March, but earning this draw in the 90^th minute leaves the Rose City with a better taste in its mouth as it enters what promises to be a fascinating offseason.

Match Observations

• I don’t know about you, but I yelled about as loudly after Futty’s goal as I have any this season. In the grand scheme it was entirely meaningless. But two factors made this especially satisfying: First, it was nice to see the boys’ inspired effort rewarded in a match in which they had every reason to pack it in. Injuries, motivation, disappointment, and a tough opponent on the road all provided excuses. The Timbers weren’t having any of it. Second, RSL showed a pretty surprising lack of class and discipline in the 2^nd half. From Johnson’s juvenile taunting of Jewsbury after the penalty to Saborio’s petulant push of Eric Brunner’s face in retaliation for goodness-knows-what, it was nice to see a side that comported themselves so shamefully be handed a little dose of justice.
• After Columbus’s collapse against Chicago, Portland actually slides to 12^th on the table—and this is good news for the Timbers! Portland got a good result out of last night and found a way to get bumped up a spot in player acquisition rankings. Let’s discuss this—and how perverse it may be— in a couple weeks.
• You know, John Spencer really went out of his way a few weeks ago to refute the notion that the Timbers were an under-talented, over-achieving team. Here is the thing: I’m not sure he’s right, and Saturday certainly didn’t do anything to buttress his argument. The Timbers for much of the night weren’t pretty, but they were effective. Still, the quality was lacking, especially in the final third. With Darlington Nagbe—and to a lesser extent Sal Zizzo—I really only felt confident in the attack with the ball at Diego Chara’s feet. I do think this is a hardworking team, but I think the knock on the Timbers—that they lack the quality and dynamism to be an elite side—isn’t altogether inaccurate. Again, we’ll come back to this topic.
• Finally, on a personal note, I would like to thank the folks at timbersarmy.org and all of you for letting me write these this year. While school and travel occasionally took me away from writing, I have thoroughly enjoyed the opportunity to do this. If you’ll have me, I would eagerly do it again next year. Also, I’ll plan on posting about any major front office moves that are made this offseason. For starters, over the next couple weeks, I’ll write posts about where the Timbers need to go from here and where the MLS needs to go. Until then, thank you for a fantastic season.

Timbers Grades

Troy Perkins, 4 In what has been an outstanding season for Perkins, this was actually a pretty poor night. He made Saborio’s goal easy by getting caught halfway, and almost let RSL put the nail in the coffin in the miscommunication with Brunner. Still, anybody who isn’t excited for Perkins to be the Timbers’ keeper for the next several years is out of their mind.

Rodney Wallace, 5 Rodney, Rodney, Rodney. Our relationship can best be described as love-hate. You had your way marauding up the RSL right side, at times on Saturday. Then you also had a number of moments where you got punked in defense, gave the ball away needlessly, or took a hopeless shot from deep. Here’s the thing: I hate that I want to keep you on the roster, but I think I do.

Futty, 5 Got beat on Saborio’s goal, but otherwise had a pretty good night in back. The defense, on the whole, was solid.

Eric Brunner, 6 Brunner isn’t going to get any awards this year. Not one. And that’s a shame. Underrated, underappreciated, and undercompensated. That’s Eric Brunner. Eric, please be in a Timbers shirt for a long time. Oh, and Jurgen Klinsmann (because I know you read this), give Eric a look. If you can tell me one thing that Tim Ream does that Brunner doesn’t, I’ll excuse your lack of consideration for at least bringing him into camp.

Lovel Palmer, 4.5 Decent defensively, but I’m getting awfully tired of offensive possessions ending with a Palmer mishit.

James Marcelin, 5.5 Held the ball up nicely at times, and had an overall solid defensive night. Had a few giveaways, though, that make you cringe at the MLS level.

Eric Alexander, 5.5 Had his best moments when he found himself on the ball closer to the center of the pitch. I’m getting closer to my initial optimism about him after an interlude of skepticism.

Jack Jewsbury, 4.5 It’s been a little bit of a rough fall for Jack, capped off by his penalty miss. Still, he carried the team on his back for extended periods of the season and is responsible for by far the most points on the team. While Perkins was worthy, it was maybe a bit harsh not to give him Supporters POY. The people have spoken, however, even if I respectfully dissent.

Diego Chara, 6.5 I just can’t help falling in love with Diego. It took him a little while to adjust, but now he is blossoming into a bona fide star. On Saturday he was again incredibly box-to-box, being both the Timbers most creative player in the attack and one of the biggest contributors on defense. My favorite thing: The fact that he’s 5’5”, has a propensity for hard fouls, and jogs away from them with his innocent “I’m so tiny, how could I have fouled him that hard?” grin on his face. Brings a similar grin to my face every time.

Kalif Alhassan, 5.5 Pretty typical Kalif on Saturday. Fantastic with the ball at his feet but struggled to make the final pass or put a good effort on frame.

Kenny Cooper, 4.5 John Strong ably pointed out how difficult playing in the 4-5-1 is for Kenny. He’s obviously not terribly dynamic, and being that isolated really limits his ability to be the target forward that he is. It showed.

Bright Dike, 6 Being disruptive is what Bright Dike does. Bright Dike was disruptive on Saturday night. That led to a goal. Cool.

Brian Umony, 5.5 Was pretty anonymous until he sent that cross in. It was a good dangerous ball, however.

David Horst, 5.5 Played awfully tough in back in a short spell. As usual, wasn’t taking anything off of anybody.

And so, for one final time in 2011…

Onward, Rose City!

2011 tifo - Many Origins, One PTFC versus Houston Dynamo

2011 Flare Bees at Real Salt Lake

—by Chris Rifer

So there it was. In the most important game of the season that didn’t feature the Timbers, Portland’s we’re-not-dead-yet run toward the playoffs ended with a Dane Richards 8^th minute goal. Those hoping for a little brotherly love out the Sons of Ben were treated to a pretty surprising showing of indifference by a side with the opportunity to capture the top spot in the East.

Getting to this point, however, has been a rollercoaster of a week. The euphoria of the Houston pregame was met with a sobering sucker punch off of Andre Hainault’s head. Just as the Timbers seemed to be establishing a little bit of control, the match and the season turned after the twist of Sal Zizzo’s knee.

And yet, just as all seemed lost in the wake of the devastation on Friday, Saturday’s results lent Portland yet another lifeline. It was a lifeline that the Timbers seemed poised to grab after Rodney Wallace – Rodney Wallace of all people – found Kenny Cooper in the box for the opener against D.C. For 50 minutes the Timbers preserved the lead, looking to go to Salt Lake with their destiny in their own hands. But Dwayne De Rosario had other plans. To be fair, it was a quality goal from a really quality player. A goal that, realistically, only a half dozen players in this league could score. And so the Timbers, after bobbing and weaving through a wild finish in D.C., would look to the Union tonight for one final lifeline. It wouldn’t come.

It’s been a really emotional six days. Hope, frustration, fury and ultimately despair have haunted the North End for the past week. And while right now it’s empty and unfulfilling, the reality is that this inaugural MLS season has been nothing short of a huge success.

Yes, there have been a lot of results that have escaped the Timbers. There were a lot of points that Portland probably should have collected that they left on the field. There was the concession at the death against Colorado. Wallace’s handball against New York. The collapse against Seattle. And lest we forget, the disgusting display against TFC. To be honest, there were more, too. No doubt, if some of those go the other way the travel team is organizing another away day and the tifo team is preparing for the playoffs.

Then again, there were also the wins over FC Dallas and Real Salt Lake. Talent-wise, probably shouldn’t have taken those. There was also the draw at Seattle. The Sounders were stacked, at home, and on national TV. And they got run off their carpet by a less-talented but pluckier Timbers side. Nor should you forget Brunner’s redemptive goal against Columbus or – and how could you – the magical night against Galaxy that breathed new life into a lost summer.

No, the Timbers weren’t perfect. And no, our team, the mighty PTFC, didn’t have a perfect year. But they had a pretty darn good one. They should have been a doormat. They should have been at the bottom of the table. They should have been Vancouver. But the fact that I’m writing the “Timbers just got eliminated from playoff contention” post on October 20^th says a lot.

So feel like crap tonight. And probably tomorrow, too. Saturday will be bittersweet as we watch our boys for the final time this year in a match that should have meant so much more. But after all that, take a look around. Replay Perlaza’s Jeld-Wen opener in your head. Think back to Futty’s nod in Seattle. Relive Kenny Cooper’s strike in Vancouver. And then get ready for 2012, because this team is not far from being pretty dang good.

Onward, Rose City!

AC Portland staff member Ben Dudley is looking for a few good men and women to help with a two-day event.

The “Fall Frenzy” will feature elementary-school students from seven AC Portland program sites. The kids will begin by showing off their public-speaking abilities. Then comes the fun part … the kids will split up and show off their soccer skills in a series of small-side scrimmages.

The Frenzies take place from 3-6 p.m. next Wednesday (the 26th) and Thursday (the 27th) at adidas headquarters, 5055 N Greeley. Admission is free, of course.

Come on out and help cheer, help teach a few chants, help coach or just help watch.

AC Portland: Fall Frenzy

When: October 26-27, 3–6 p.m.

Where: adidas North American Headquarters,

5055 N. Greeley

Want to help? Calling all TA members to come out and lend your voice, we want to have a cheering section singing songs to support the kids. We will have TA members teach the kids chants during the scrimmages. Show up at 3pm with your scarf and your voice!

Contact: Ben Dudley -- ben(at)acportland.org 971-234-2755 if interested.

—by Owen Longstreet

This is my first post. Don't worry I'll be offending all of you at some point soon I'm sure but I'm going to start with offending our nice Canadian neighbors with a little something I have to get off my chest that's been there since we played them in Vancouver.

What the f*** was this?

It looks like a turd flopping around and some colored paintings that don't make any sense. I had to do some digging online and found out you were trying to build a bonfire and put Portland on the top with a couple of Vees to either side. [drippingwithsarcasm]How original.[/drippingwithsarcasm]

Let's have some real talk here, Southsiders. In everything you do you're like the kid brother that nobody can take seriously because you can't get anything right. You aren't doing anything to help your cause. Conducting a display with such a terrible concept, poor foresight and piss poor execution isn't going to gain any respect from anyone. If I were you I would ban anyone who came up with this concept from ever having any part of another tifo display.

Actually forget I said any of that. Please let the same people who dreamed up and executed this display continue to do so. I'll look forward to laughing so hard I make myself cry with every display they attempt. I look forward to next year when I see the massive paper mache Teitur Thordarson head that I'm sure they're already dreaming up.

Until then...

—by Andrew Brawley

I been to SLC quite a few times, but my more recent visits have been in the form of layovers. It’s been a while since I’ve been in the city proper. Since I have a ticket to see The Book of Mormon on Broadway next month, I can’t imagine a better time to prepare for that than with a visit to SLC this week (yes, I’m actually going on this trip. It’s my second away match this season, after the epic Seattle jaunt in May).

Since it’s been a while for me, I sought help for this entry. Turns out we have quite a few SLC ex-pats amongst our flock. One of them even recently played for the Timbers (shoutout to Ian Joy). The honor for this particular entry fell onto the very capable shoulders of 107ist board member Garrett Dittfurth, who is lucky he sent this info to me BEFORE he started bombarding my Twitter feed with sacred images of Tim Tebow and terrible Toby Keith music videos. (Garrett’s a habitual acceptable/offensive joke line-stepper.)

(One final note: this is the last entry of the away game travel guide series for 2011. I managed to post for all but the first three cities, and that’s because this idea didn’t pop into my head until after those first three away games. Thanks to all who contributed to these entries and helped with even more tips via the comments section. Extra thanks to those who appreciated the Seattle guide for what it truly was…a joke that went over way more heads than I anticipated. If you want to help with the 2012 series, you know where to find me.)

Alright, it’s go time. Here's Garrett!

Oh Salt Lake...it feels like just yesterday I was there last.

Salt Lake's public transportation system, UTA, is just as good as TriMet so getting around downtown is easy. Rio Tinto Stadium is located just off the TRAX line in Sandy. Other than Rio Tinto Stadium there is nothing of value in Sandy unless you love strip malls and big box stores so make sure you get a hotel downtown.

As far as things to do I'm not going to lie…it's a little straightforward. Heavy Metal Shop is basically a nationally recognized institution and it's awesome that it's located in a place like SLC. The Salt Lake Library is really something to behold even if you're not all that into libraries. Beyond that, the stuff to see is all pretty straightforward. If you've never been to Temple Square it's worth the trip just to get a look at the architecture (religious mumbo jumbo aside). There are plenty of museums around there focusing on church/pioneer history, but since it's basically like the Vatican there are all kinds of weird religious things around. There's also Olympic Cauldron Park at the University of Utah where they rather spectacularly lit the Olympic Flame for the 2002 games. If anyone wants to rent a car and head up into the canyons I'd recommend going up to Park City where they hold the Sundance Film Festival. If you don't want to go to another town try Big Cottonwood Canyon. A scenic drive to the top will put you at Brighton ski resort and you can walk around Silver Lake. There may be snow on October 22nd but it's too early in the year for any lifts to be open.

Food: SLC isn't exactly known for its gastronomical excellence. That being said, there are some pretty Utah-ish places I'll be hitting up that I haven't had in a while. Crown Burgers is sort of the local better-than-fast-food chain that beats any chain we have in Portland. I think it beats In-N-Out as well, although it doesn't have the 1950s charm or secret menu. Just go simple and have the Crown Burger. Make sure to try the "Fry Sauce." You should be able to find or request Fry Sauce in almost every restaurant in Salt Lake City, but Crown Burgers nails the recipe. Past that nothing would really stand out other than The Pie, which I've been craving since I left. It's the best pizza in Utah and ranked as one of the top 10 pizzerias in the country. If you decide on that, avoid the ones in strip malls and hit up the original location in a basement where you'll find 30 years worth of college kids writing their names all over the walls.

Drink: the bar scene is a little different in Salt Lake. They've recently got rid of needing a private membership to get in so you can go in and out of any bar you want. You won't find a Kelly's Olympian in SLC but there are plenty of good places to hang out and get a beer. As I used to spend a lot of time at Port O' Call I would recommend all of the places in this article. I haven't been to any of them but I know most of the owners and can't imagine they'd screw it up. (This is a lie…my friend owns Gracie's and I will be there most of the time. I just don’t want a lot of people to know about it.)

Everyone may think beer sucks in Utah but that's not the case. Not even a little bit. Squatters has been around for a long time and they're a great standard brewpub. Red Rock Brewing is also a downtown staple. Oh yeah, this is Utah, so they brew Root Beer too. It's the best Root Beer I've ever had. I'm not lying. My personal favorite is Uinta Brewing. I'm going to guzzle Cutthroat Pale Ale the entire time I'm in Salt Lake. I'm sure everyone is aware of Utah's most infamously named beer. Sadly the brewery, while excellent, is located in Park City. If you do head up there definitely check out Wasatch Brewing.