—by Andrew Brawley
It's home opener week. We got lots of information to share this week. Spread the word!
Sunday: Do's and Don'ts
Monday: Tifo 101 + the National Anthem
Tuesday: Guide for First-Timers
Wednesday: Guide for Veterans
Thursday: Game day!
The home opener’s almost here. Here’s a quick list of do’s and don’ts for anyone who may be new (or needs a refresher) to the Timbers Army scene. We'll elaborate more throughout the week.
DO...
- plan to have fun within the realm of common sense.
- recognize that we stand, yell and sing throughout the entire match. You might miss a sweet pass here or there, but you’ll see it on Fox 12, Tivo or YouTube later that night. Wayne Garcia will make sure of it!
- contemplate the fact that you might have no voice at work/school the following day.
- grab a chant sheet from the 107ist booth (or print one here) and learn them all.
DON’T...
- throw anything onto the pitch (a.k.a. the field). We consider this a major sign of disrespect toward our players and the game itself. Plus, it will get you thrown out by JWF security. (Click here for a complete set of rules at JWF.)
- scream ‘YSA’ during opponent’s goal kicks. It’s childish, unoriginal, pointlessly obscene, and just makes us look dumb. If it’s wildly popular in Seattle, chances are good that it’s no longer cool. We’ve moved on…you should, too.
- yell “F*ck Seattle” during the non-vocal break of the “Heeeeeeeeey Portland Timbers!” chant. Again, it’s unoriginal, pointlessly obscene, childish, and practically a given sentiment. Some proposed alternatives are:
- “We-Sa-lute-You!”
- clap-clap-clap-clap
- cowbell-cowbell-cowbell-cowbell
- silence-silence-silence-silence
- spill beer, whether it’s yours or someone else’s. It makes the ground sticky. It ruins clothes. It can cause fights. It turns a good time into a bad time. Plus, you paid $7 for it!
- bring vuvuzelas (those annoying horns from the 2010 World Cup). Not only is it against JWF policy, but sneaking one in and using it will likely get it taken away and broken in half over a knee, even if your child is carrying it. It won’t be us that made him cry, it’ll be you, the bad parent.
Tomorrow, details on tifo participation, and what will be most awesome performance of the National Anthem EVER!
