—by Chris Rifer
On Saturday night, the Timbers went to the Stub Hub Center, won 5-0, and won the MLS Western Conference regular season title. No part of that sentence was fathomable a year ago.
A team that twelve months ago had a habit of pitying themselves and others personified the their supporters’ mantra on Saturday evening, showing Chivas USA absolutely no pity in the course of a merciless 5-0 dismantling.
After a brief feeling out period, the Timbers hinted at their intent in the 11th minute. After Will Johnson happily picked up an indifferent Chivas USA turnover in midfield, he dashed forward and played Darlington Nagbe through on the right side of the box. Rather than go at goal, however, Nagbe tried to play a cross to the mouth of goal that was intercepted by a shaky Goats defense.
Three minutes later, Diego Valeri mirrored Johnson’s pass by playing Rodney Wallace through the leaky Rojiblancos’ backline. Wallace, as a contrast to Nagbe, went at goal, only to be denied by Dan Kennedy’s understudy, Tim Melia.
The Goats’ luck wouldn’t hold for another three minutes, however. After the Timbers again threw themselves forward, Will Johnson played Jose Valencia into the box. Chivas converged to derail Trencito’s goalscoring ambitions, but the ball dribbled straight to Valeri fifteen yards from goal, where he slotted it inside the near post.
The Timbers made it two after an atrocious 29th minute giveaway by Jaime Frias. Valeri took the Goats’ generosity, dribbled only nominally impeded to the top of the box, and chipped a caught-out Melia. If Chivas hadn’t learned their lesson about giving Diego Valeri time and space around the box, they certainly had now.
Or maybe not. Four minutes later, Futty found Valeri on a Hail Mary, where he shed one Chivas defender, nutmegged Carlos Bocanegra as retribution for his uninspired challenge, and found Rodney Wallace in front of goal for the tap home.
The result secured and lease signed on the Western Conference penthouse, it seemed likely the Timbers would come out of halftime happy to ride their 3-0 lead into the playoffs. Portland was having too much fun, however, and Chivas—well—Chivas was just too indifferent and incompetent to preserve the scoreline.
The Timbers nearly found their fourth five minutes after the break, when a well-struck Will Johnson free kick got to Pa Modou Kah in the box, but Melia tapped his header over the bar.
The Goats created a couple generously characterized chances as their season ticked away, but ultimately nothing they’ll write home to their parent club about. In the 69th minute, Julio Morales squared a ball to the top of the box where Matthew Fondy found some space, but his shot was blocked and bounced wide.
For the most part, however, Chivas’s unfortunate eleven on the field spent the ninety minutes looking for some sort of trap door to escape their match-long humiliation. Ryan Johnson deepened their suffering in the 72nd minute. After Rodney Wallace was given ample room to take a dangerous crack at goal from his left side, Melia made the save but only as far as the boots of Johnson at the far post, where he tapped home with Boca pleading with the linesman to invoke the mercy rule.
With many of his teammates having made their mark on the scoresheet, Will Johnson jealously got in on the action in the 76th minute. With the Great Battering Ram of Gambia taking out much of a Chivas USA wall, the captain bent a low free kick underneath Melia’s left hand to put the Timbers up by a half-decade.
In a venue that in many ways seemed to be one of the Timbers’ last Achilles heels, Portland sealed their regular season conference crown, and took another step toward mothballing the memories of a now seemingly bygone era of mediocrity. On Saturday, the Timbers left no doubt. They’re elite.
Timbers Grades
Donovan Ricketts, 6 After a quiet first hour and a quarter, his teammates let Ricketts participate a little bit in the game. He was, as usual, quite good.
Michael Harrington, 6 With Rodney Wallace doing much of the wide work, Harrington wasn’t getting forward as much as in prior weeks. The Timbers most consistent performer was true to form on Saturday.
Pa Modou Kah, 6 A solid game from the Timbers’ defense, though, in fairness, they weren’t much more involved than Ricketts until late. Get just a little downgrade for permitting Chivas a few chances in garbage time.
Futty, 6.5 Essentially the same as Kah, with a bump for his secondary assist on Wallace’s goal.
Jack Jewsbury, 5.5 Basically, see above. Didn’t have much to do, and did it quite well.
Will Johnson, 7 Along with a number of nice free kicks, Johnson and Chara combined to just crush a Chivas midfield that was ripe for the pureeing.
Diego Chara, 7 As things were getting out of hand, and the game was turning more and more toward the ridiculous, I was certain this was going to be the game Diego scored. Alas, I came away disappointed.
Rodney Wallace, 8 Blessed by lining up against a passive defense all day, Rodney’s aggressiveness was too much for Chivas. Unlucky only to come away with one goal.
Diego Valeri, 9.5 Way too easy.
Darlington Nagbe, 4 Flashes of old Darlington’s passiveness at times, suggesting there is still considerable room for exploration before Nagbe reaches his ceiling. The Timbers will need Nagbe 2013 in the playoffs.
Jose Valencia, 6 Maybe the Timbers most improved player over the course of the season, Valencia is getting more and more comfortable in the number nine role.
Kalif Alhassan, 6 Had some nice moments of facilitation in the face of Chivas’s please-take-your-time-to-pick-your-pass defense. Still, it’s hard to believe he didn’t score on his late breakaway.
Ryan Johnson, 6.5 But for Valeri’s brace, Johnson would have tied the Timbers MLS record for goals in a season with his classic striker’s tally on Saturday. He’s clearly fallen out of favor, and is a longshot to return to Portland next year, but Johnson was quietly productive this year.
Ben Zemanski, INC
Preseason Prediction: Timbers 1, Chivas 1. Will Johnson. Also, yikes.
Actual Result: Timbers 5, Chivas 0. Valeri (x2), Rodney Wallace, Will Johnson, Ryan Johnson.
Onward, Rose City.
